Pop-freak Michael Jackson is presented a certificate of appreciation by Col. Robert M. Waltemeyer during Jackson's visit to Camp Zama in Japan. And what exactly did Jackson do that warranted appreciation? Go ten minutes without groping a seven-year-old? And why the hell is Jackson visiting U.S. bases in Japan? Don't our troops have enough shit to put up with? Holy God, Michael Jackson is coming. Somebody's got to shake his hand and give him a certificate. Make Waltemeyer do it...
Okay, here's a little survey. You're a soldier in the U.S. Army. You have a choice of two missions:
A. Single-handedly storm a whole compound full of terrorists, armed only with a spork and a can of Raid.
B. Shake hands with Michael Jackson.
I would take A, but then I'm sort of a coward. Obviously Col. Waltemeyer isn't. And that's why he's in the army and I'm blogging.
