They turned on the LHC this morning and we're all still here. No black holes. No rips in the space-time continuum allowing slimy alien monsters to come through and make us their sex slaves. No giant Elvises crawling out of the Alps to scare all the Frenchies back into their holes. Nothing. Just a bunch of geeks popping champagne and thinking about all the ass they'll get after they win their Nobel Prize. Of course there are still alarmist nitwits out there who'll insist this thing is going to destroy humanity. These people also think there's an invisible man living in the sky who possesses the power to create everything in the universe yet has nothing better to do than watch us glorified monkeys to make sure we don't touch our private parts. They'll be voting for Crip-Arms and Madame Moose Killer, obviously.
