Act Your Way Out Of This One Al

Al Pacino's hair is falling out faster than Amy Winehouse's teeth. Aw, we all love Al. Remember how awesome he was in Dog Day Afternoon and Serpico? Then he bought into the notion that he was the greatest actor of all-time and became totally over-the-top and self-indulgent. Now he's just an old ham taking work wherever he can get it. He's still not as big a whore as Robert De Niro.

You Ain't Johnny Cash Sweetie - You Only Played Him

Joaquin Phoenix says he's quitting acting and will devote himself instead to making music. The nutbag Walk the Line star rambled during an appearance on Extra, "I want to take this opportunity...to give you the exclusive ... that this will be my last performance as an actor... I'm not doing films anymore." It's pretty clear what's happened here. He played Johnny Cash in a movie and did his own singing and now he thinks he's a musician. This happens to actors all the time. It's like when Al Pacino did Serpico and couldn't get out of character and was caught running around New York with a fake badge arresting people. Just get over it Joaquin - you're not Johnny Cash. That movie was a few years ago now and you should really be over it. Let's just hope he doesn't start thinking he's a journalist like Sean Penn, or we'll be up to our elbows in badly-written essays on Iran and Venezuela.