This Must Be Funny

I don't know what Will Ferrell and Jeremy Piven are doing in this picture, but it must be hilarious. Any time Will Ferrell does anything it is automatically hilarious. And Piven is making a funny face so that makes it even more hilarious. Oh God you guys, stop before I rupture myself.

That Thin, Wild Mercury Sound

Jeremy Piven dropped out of some play he was doing in New York, alleging mercury poisoning as the culprit. This bizarro claim elicited lots of skepticism if not downright doubt from people, which got back to Piven who elaborated on his original lie by saying the mercury deal was caused by eating too much sushi. Thanks for clearing thinks up Pivster. I'm sure this will quiet all the whispers that you are a raging drug addict who had to quit the show and slink off to rehab.

She'll Keep Her Panties On, Thanks Very Much

Jeremy Piven's charms may work on most women but not on Hayden Panettiere. The Star says Piven tried using his moves on the midget TV starlet but only succeeded in skeezing her out. "He was trying to be charming and kept saying he ‘wanted to show her around town,'" says a source. "But Hayden soon excused herself and escaped." Hayden is known for liking older men but apparently 43 is a little too old even for her. Maybe he should've wowed her by reciting some of his credits. "I was the loser check-out guy in Say Anything. Want to see my cock-ring? You're pretty in a weird, not-that-pretty sort of way. I have this horrible disease and it can only be cured by stroking your ass. Yes, your ass specifically..."

New Couple

Guy Ritchie and Jeremy Piven can no longer hide their love. Ritchie needed someone soft and feminine after all those years with Madonna.

Jeremy Piven and Victoria Beckham Were Both at Nobu. Coincidence?

Victoria Beckham and Jeremy Piven both went to Nobu on the same night. Conclusion: They are fucking.

Jeremy Piven And Dita Von Teese?

Could Entourage's Jeremy Piven be sniffing around Marilyn Manson's ex-zombie-lover Dita Von Teese? According to EOnline's Party Girl, Piven was caught making off with two size 4 dresses from a swag suite, and when asked about it, said the duds were for "someone special" who's "curvy with dark brown hair." An insider insists Piven was referring to Von Teese, adding, "It's new...They're not dating yet, but he's interested."

Piven's interested all right - in anything halfway-attractive with a pair of tits. As for Dita...I see no reason why she shouldn't go for Piven. I mean, she already demonstrated, by marrying Marilyn Manson, that she hasn't got a jot of taste or self-respect. I could easily see her with Piven...or Brandon Davis or Joe Simpson or Ryan O'Neal, or pretty much any other male of any ilk however slimy or low.

(source)

Look Out Affleck

How bad does Jeremy Piven want to bone Jennifer Garner? Hmm...I wonder if his mom would even let him.

Piven Has Mommy Issues

Entourage star and noted ladykiller Jeremy Piven shocked and disturbed fellow diners at Nobu Malibu the other evening by getting into a very public shouting match with his mother. Said a witness:

It was so venomous, the entire restaurant could hear them. I don't know what they were arguing about, but it was loud.

Jeremy - we all have issues with our mothers. Trust me, you don't even want to know some of the things the Crabster said to his before that chain-smoking hag finally did us all the favor of dropping dead. But one thing you never want to do is have those arguments in public, especially not in front of other famous people (like Rob Reiner, who was reportedly there at Nobu). It just doesn't look good. For one thing, you've got this reputation as a playah going for you - but that's not going to last long if people get this image of you as some pitiful soul who's still hopelessly tied to his mother. Chicks can smell that kind of thing on you Pivs. Their radar goes off, telling them, "Look out for this guy. He's got mommy issues." Sure, that may not matter as long as you're only trying to bang random hos, but one day you might want to settle down with one of these babes, and the one vibe you definitely don't want to give off when you do finally identify that one special someone is "pathetic momma's boy on the look-out for someone to coddle him and wash his jammies and tuck him in at night." Women flee from that, unless they themselves are pathetic and needy and actually want a man like that. And we know a happenin' dude like you doesn't want to get stuck with some crazy broad, who wants to cast you in the role of the child she herself can't have after the botched abortion. Do I have a slightly over-active imagination?

(source)

The Dudes Of Entourage

From left to right: Lame. Lame. Super-Lame. So what's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this, huh?

Piven Checks Out Some Models

Jeremy Piven is a fashion-maven. Seriously. He loves going to fashion shows to check out the clothes. Here are a couple shots of him at last night's Monarchy Collection 2007 show, part of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.



"Wow. Look at that stitching. That is really some fantastic work. Dang, stitching gives me such a boner..."



"I love the collar on that. I've got to try and buy that collar a drink later..."

Wahlberg (And Piven)

Mark Wahlberg and Jeremy Piven at the premiere of Marky's new movie Shooter. Marky Mark in a movie called Shooter? Ah, it's probably about guns or something. Not the kind of shooting I'd like Marky to do. Mmm - right in the face Marky.

Ugh, but why does Jeremy Piven have to be in the shot? Crabbie needs to do some magic on this one...

Much better.