Beard's Gone

Wills shaved the beard off. His woman must've complained. Is he still hosing that Middleton broad or has he moved on to another ho who wants to be queen one day? Man, Harry really does look like the idiot brother sometimes doesn't he? Inbreeding shows up, no matter how hard you try to hide it.

Prince William Becomes a Knight

Prince William was officially installed as a knight in some ceremony of ancient significance. Whatever. Silly old British ceremonies no one really takes seriously anymore. Why don't they stop?

All anyone cared about was how William's girlfriend Kate Middleton looked. She wore a silly hat and looked a bit like Lauren Conrad. William wore his own silly hat, whose creation required that a rare bird lose its life. Harry had the decency to go without a hat, sparing a rare bird.

On another note...I just got through reading Pat Buchanan's Churchill, Hitler and the Unnecessary War. This book argues that Winston Churchill was as erratic and racist a maniac as Adolf Hitler and should not be regarded as a hero, but a war-mongering freak who purposely made world wars out of conflicts that could've been contained. This argument will come as no shock to those who already regarded Churchill as a bellicose blowhard.

My favorite part of the book was when FDR played the Brits toward the end of WWII, forcing them to hand over all their assets in the U.S. plus all their gold reserves. The Brits got revenge of course...by sending us Dame Edna.

Princes Get Some

Princes William and Harry threw their dead mom Diana a giant birthday bash yesterday, complete with major pop-stars, a few movie people and David Beckham (who got the biggest ovation of the day). But no one really cares about the stuff that happened inside Wembley Stadium - what everyone wants to know is, did the Princes get any?

Answer: yes.

Prince Harry and his girlfriend, fake-boobed Chelsey Davy, didn't even bother waiting until after the concert - they started snogging right there in the royal box:



Kissing Harry must be a little like sucking face with a rosacea-ridden monkey, don't you think? Seriously - I've seen baboons butts that were less red than that.

But moving along to Prince William - you know, the hot albeit bald one. Yes, Wills was not left out of the fun. According to the Daily Mail, he and Kate Middleton shacked up at Clarence House the night before the concert. So you know those two are back on again. Much to the dismay of Joss Stone, who really, really likes Wills (as we see from these pics taken at rehearsals):



Poor Joss - spurned by the prince. But hey, if she's looking for a hook-up with somebody who has a title, how about Sir Tom Jones?



Yes, he's old enough to be her grandfather, but so what? If they didn't want old men fucking, why did they invent Viagra?

(source)