Leighton Meester Has A Sex Tape. Wonder How That Got Out...

Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester is about to separate herself from the generic starlet pack...by having a sex tape break on the internet. News of the tape has been circulating all morning; and now this disgusting site has stills that confirm the tape's existence. Congratulations Leighton Meester. You have now joined Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson in the Shameless Skank Hall of Fame. You've come a long way since being born in the slammer.

No One's That Happy

Emmy Rossum's a cute girl but there's something wrong with her. I bet she's one of those compulsive sink-scrubbers. It just never shines enough, does it Emmy?

Hey Leighton - how's your mom doing? She out yet?

Jail Bird

I now know two things about Leighton Meester: She's on the show Gossip Girl and she was born in jail of a mother who had been arrested for running drugs. And after three months her mom had to leave the halfway house and she had to go be raised by relatives. And that she had several other relatives who were also drug runners. But look how far she's come in life in spite of her horrific beginnings. She plays a bitch on a terrible, culture-corroding TV show. Only in America (and possibly a few other countries).

(Dear Leighton: Your first instinct may be to deny this story, but I wouldn't. Even if it's a lie, just roll with it. This is street cred you can't buy honeycakes.)

American Keira?

I look at Gossip Girl Leighton Meester and think of Keira Knightley. There's some resemblance (outside of the fact that Leighton appears to have consumed food in the last couple of years). Leighton hasn't been harassed by the paps enough to become as glowery and pissed off as Keira, but give her time. She may one day do us proud.

Gossip Boy

The dude is Ed Westwick and the show is Gossip Girl. I've never watched the show and I honestly can't think of any circumstances under which I could be prevailed upon to do so. Maybe if every other channel went off the air except whatever one that show's on. Even then, I don't know...I'd probably find something better to do, like make one of those little ships inside the bottles, or perhaps just break the bottle and slash my own throat.

Westwick looks just like someone...an actor...I can picture him but can't think of his fucking name. Please throw out some names. Help me before I lose my last shred of sanity.

Update: Robert Sean Leonard was the dude I was thinking of.