Hilary Swank Injured in Hilarious Way (But We Still Feel Sorry For Her. Right?)

Oscar-winning tranny Hilary Swank suffered a boo-boo Thursday while on the set of her new movie P.S., I Love You.

A description of the injury from People's website:

During a scene with costar Gerard Butler, in which the actor performs a striptease for Swank, Butler's suspenders became snagged and hit the actress on her forehead, a source tells PEOPLE. Swank received medical treatment, which included sutures for the cut, and filming was halted.

Damn. That must be some powerful voodoo Chad Lowe whipped up on that pseudo-bitch.

By the way, Hilary is said to be in good spirits and will return to work on Monday.

Travis Barker Breaks Arm. No, Shanna Had Nothing to Do With It.

Drummer Travis Barker broke his arm while filming a video with his band +44, and will be unable to beat on his tom-toms for at least 8 weeks.

Paris Hilton would've rushed to be by Travis's side, but she was afraid of having the shit beaten out of her by Shanna Moakler again.

By the way, this is the last time Travis Barker will ever be mentioned in this blog. How this troglodyte-looking creep ever became famous in the first place is beyond me.

Let's All Feel Sorry For Lindsay

Lindsay Lohan's broken wrist will be in a cast for six weeks.

The injured starlet's rehab regimen will include lifting bottles weighted with whiskey, ball-squeezing, bending forward to snort coke off a low glass coffee table (that's good for the lumbar region), and for cardio-vascular, stomping up and down on DVDs of Scarlett Johansson movies.

Breaking News: Lindsay Lohan Fractures Wrist. Breaking News. Fractured Wrist. Damn, That's Good Funny.

Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the hospital Friday night after falling and breaking her wrist.

No snide-asses, she wasn't drunk...or maybe she was drunk. Does anybody know if she was drunk?

According to the story she was walking around the Milk Studios in New York in "flat Channel boots" when she slipped and went down. Apparently, a stink is already being raised over the lack of safety precautions at the Milk Studios. Doesn't take long for injured movie stars to start raising stinks does it?

Okay, so the jokes on this one are obvious. Lindsay - she just wants to get off of work again, and she knows the old "asthma attack" and "heat exhaustion" excuses aren't going to fly anymore. Or, "Lindsay Lohan broke her wrist. She was trying to give a rhinoceros a hand-job."

Far be it from me to say anything like that, though. I would never exploit someone else's misfortune that way.

Paris Bitten By Monkey. Monkey Needs Shots.

Skanky heiress/media-whore Paris Hilton loves animals, but apparently animals do not have such positive feelings about her. At least her pet monkey Baby Luv doesn't (I wonder if Paris Hilton even knows who The Supremes are). The other day, Baby Luv, perhaps driven crazy by the fumes emanating from Paris's nethers, decided to bite its mistress on the arm, sending Paris to the hospital. Ms. Hilton was given a tetanus shot; no word yet on what shots the monkey was given.

(source)