Jane Fonda Says C**t On The Today Show

Diane Keaton says "fuck." Jane Fonda says "cunt." If I'm the Today Show, I'm not having anymore old actresses on. Those people have potty mouths like you wouldn't believe.

Mad Money Tanks

Mad Money is now officially one of the more ironically-titled movies ever... cause it didn't exactly make mad money this weekend at the box-office. In fact it got destroyed, coming in seventh with a pitiful $7.7 million. It even got beat by Juno which has been out for 7 weeks. The number 1 movie was Cloverfield with $41 million. People would rather watch a monster destroy New York than Katie Holmes, Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah rob a bank. Can you blame them?

The hilarious thing is that, in people's eyes, Mad Money's failure is really all about Tom Cruise - that's how connected Katie is to Cruise. Rightly or wrongly, we perceive Cruise as being in control of Katie's career, so for her to take a part like this and have the movie flop...it's Tom's bad managing that will be blamed, not Katie's inherent blandness as an actress, nor the apparent ill-conceived nature of the whole venture (it looked like a silly girl-power knock-off of The Lavender Hill Mob to me). Tom would do well to encourage his bride in a direction away from movies entirely, lest he suffer a string of ever-more-horrific embarrassments. Trust me, no one would miss her.

Diane Keaton Puts The Moves On Diane Sawyer

Everyone wants to talk about Diane Keaton saying "fuck" during this GMA interview with Diane Sawyer. But the hell with that. I want to talk about Keaton's obvious lesbian attraction to Sawyer instead. Seriously, that is one creepy video. Keaton talking about Sawyer's lips and telling her how beautiful she is. Well Jesus Keaton, you want a taste of Sawyer's tuna? Ask her out someplace and get her old ass drunk. Don't hit on her on national fucking television. No one wants to see that. You're old and she's old, and now I won't be able to eat for the rest of the day. Have some consideration you senile old hag.