The Proposal

Finding an actor who is not a waste of skin isn't easy. There are a handful of stars I can't stomach and refuse to watch. Sean Penn is numero uno on my list, followed closely by Mel Gibson.

I have a new found admiration for Sandra Bullock. I was never a big Sandy fan back in the day, despite her being a girl-next-door from my hometown. Over the years, her avoidance of the spotlight and scandals has won me over. I like her. She quietly lives a seemingly normal life. I don't expect her new movie to be a masterpiece, but I find myself hoping she won't fail. In today's Hollywood, it is refreshing to have an actor, who is likable as a human being, up on the big screen. Her co-star, Ryan Reynolds, won't be hard too hard on the eyes either. I might be willing to sit through a matinee of The Proposal for sheer escapism.

Sandra Bullock Shoots All About Steve

Sandra Bullock shooting All About Steve. Really? All About Steve? People are going to pay good money to see a movie with a name like that?

The plot via IMDb: Convinced that a CNN cameraman is her true love, an eccentric crossword puzzler (Bullock) trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together.

Thomas Haden Church plays the CNN cameraman. Does Wolf Blitzer have a cameo? When will Sandra Bullock realize no one cares about her attempts at making quirky comedies and just give up?

Oh, I get it...All About Steve like All About Eve. I'm slow today.

No Sandra...you aren't Bette Davis.

Nut Tries To Run Over Sandra Bullock's Husband

I always thought Jesse James was a Western outlaw who robbed trains and got shot in the back. But, apparently, there's another dude named Jesse James, who builds motorcycles or something, and is currently married to Sandra Bullock. That Jesse James - not the old dead dude but the living guy - almost ended up as dead as the other Jesse James when, late Sunday night, some wacky chick in a Mercedes tried to run his ass over in front of his and Sandra's home in Orange County. And this wasn't an accident, mind you - this chick was trying to commit vehicular homicide, and to make it worse, Sandra, as well as James's 10-year-old kid, were standing there and saw the whole crazy thing.

So what the hell was this daffy broad thinking anyway? Apparently, the woman, Marcia Valentine, has been obsessed with Sandra for years, and the murder attempt against James was the culmination of some delusional scenario. So, what, this bitch thought if she got Jesse out of the way she and Sandra would be lovers? Oh yeah, that's the way to someone's heart - bump off their significant other, then sit and wait for them to come to you. Sorry Marcia, but if that kind of shit worked, Crabbie would be a mass-murderer by now.

Anyway, poor old Marcia managed to flee the scene after the attempt on James's life, but she didn't elude police long, as a manhunt ended in her capture on Monday. Valentine is currently being held on charges of assault with a deadly weapon (which is what a Mercedes becomes when you try to mow someone down with it), and to make matters worse, her crazy face is now all over the Internet:


Dang. I haven't seen a mush that maniacal since this bitch:



By the way, whatever happened to Wilbanks? Is she still mowing lawns in her sweatpants? And another thing - that pic of Jesse and Sandra at the top. Take ourselves a bit seriously Jesse? What is it with all these hardcore tattoo people? Is every last one of them a humorless, grim-faced shit? Dang man, lighten up. It's only life. What, your old man cuffed you around when you were a kid, so now you think the world is supposed to act like every time you breathe it's the most important thing that ever happened? Oh, my traumas - they're so traumatic. If I crack a smile people might not think I'm the toughest bastard on earth, and my wounded little childish ego can't take it. God, is there anything in the world lamer than some big meathead with a bunch of tattoos who thinks the sun rises and sets on his bad attitude? Get over yourself Jesse. Or better yet, the next time some crazy broad wants to plow you with her expensive foreign automobile? Just lay down on the ground and let her flatten your skull. If life is really as miserable as you pretend, it should be a relief to you.

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Barrymore, Bullock And Grant Added To Hep A Puck-Up List

The list of stars who may have been exposed to Hep A at a Wolfgang Puck-catered event has grown once again. According to TMZ, Puck, who recently had an employee test positive for Hepatitis, did the food at a party for the movie Music & Lyrics on February 7, a party attended by Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant among others. Guests of that party were sent a letter informing them that, if they consumed any uncooked food at the event, they might've been exposed to Hep A. This letter was supposedly dispatched on March 1 - unfortunately, the Health Department says that people exposed to Hep A must receive a gamma globulin shot within 2 weeks of exposure, and March 1 is more than 2 weeks after February 7 (duh). However, the Health Department also says that the risk of exposure to Hep A through the consumption of food is very low.

Another thing that's very low - the chance of Wolfgang Puck ever catering a big Hollywood party again. If I were Wolfgang I'd get myself a pair of sunglasses and a can of pencils. Just a suggestion.

(source)

Sandra Bullock Hates Life

Sandra Bullock came out of her hole to put in an appearance at the Santa Barbara Film Festival. Here's another one of those chicks everyone thinks is so charming and effervescent, when clearly this personality is nothing more than a brittle facade concealing a deep inner-turmoil. Trust me on this one - Sandra Bullock's soul is a bubbling cauldron of rage and frustration. Given half a chance, this bitch would whip out a chainsaw and go Leatherface on a whole cafeteria. Just look into her eyes. But don't look too deep, because you'll surely be sucked down into the same black pit of despair.