Britney's Other Ex Runs His Yap (And Calls Her Bi-Sexual, Sort Of)

Coochie-flasher Britney Spears has been all over the tabs and the web lately. Which means it's time for everyone with any connection to her to come out of the woodwork and get their two-cents in. And that includes her other ex-husband, Jason Alexander, who has spilled his guts to The Sun.

Alexander, whom Britney was married to for all of 55 hours, has lots to say about the Federline situation, as well as Britney's sexual proclivities and her friendship with Paris Hilton. On Federline:

It’s best for everyone that Kevin and her have split. She is much more confident now.

I was really shocked when she married Kevin. I figured it was a fling that would fly over. I never thought she’d marry him. He always seemed so negative.

From what I understand, with all the stuff that’s gone on, the marriage has been unstable for some time. It’s been going downhill for a while. Nothing has changed or got better. They had problems before which they tried to work out but now it’s like they can’t sort it out.

On Britney's thing for girls:

All beautiful girls like other girls in some way. All girls are attracted to other girls. She found other girls attractive, yes, but we never did anything about it.

Our relationship was about us. We just weren’t together long enough for that to come up really. ... That’s not to say that I don’t know anything about threesomes.

On Britney and Paris:

Paris is a good friend of hers. They both have the same issues. They are both in the spotlight.

On Britney's post-baby stomach surgery:

She had a tummy tuck after the birth of her second child. She’s working on all of that. She’s worth hundreds of millions — of course she looks good.

She has the money to have surgery and nutritionists and get her body back. And now she’s focused, she is doing it. She’s motivated — she just got rid of a man.

How very enlightening, Mr. Alexander. And I'm sure Britney will be just thrilled that you revealed she's half a lesbo and that she's had her tummy fixed.

Anything else you'd like to tell us there Jason? Like the color Britney's poo turns when she has the runs? Or the songs she hums to herself while she's clipping her toenails?

Self-serving creep.

Alec Baldwin Says Nice Things About Kim Basinger. Damn It, Alec. That's Not What We Want From You.

One of the more entertainingly vicious Hollywood feuds would appear to be over, now that bloated-corpse-like movie sleaze Alec Baldwin has started making nice with his ex-wife, Botoxed harpy Kim Basinger.

"My ex-wife was somebody who was funny and she was fun," said Baldwin the other night on Larry King. "...and she was a lot of fun to be with. She was a great, great person. And then all of a sudden I think we just wanted to live different lives. But I think she's a great mother, yes, good mom."

Ugh. Alec. What happened to you? Where are your balls? Have you forgotten all the shit Basinger said about you? Like the time you accused her of child-snatching, and she retorted with the following assessment of your mental health:

Everyone knows about Alec Baldwin's behavioral problems—his anger, his rages—they are, unfortunately, legendary.

If his relationship with his daughter is fractured, there is only one person to blame and it is himself.

See Alec? That's how we want this to go. Like the good old days. Remember? Like when you called Kim's lawyer a 300-pound homunculus?

Man-up, Baldwin. You sniveling little dweeb.

Charlie Sheen Puts On a Brave Face, Pretends He Doesn't Want to Kill Denise

Human ram-rod Charlie Sheen is saying all the right things about his estranged wife Denise Richards, who has moved on from Charlie to date Heather Locklear's old rocking squeeze Richie Sambora.

"We're trying to put all that nonsense aside," Sheen has told Ellen Degeneres in an interview set to air on Monday, "and just do what's right for the children and just be good responsible parents."

Charlie Sheen? Responsible? When did this miracle happen?

All right, I know - the fact that you spend all your leisure time drugging and whoring doesn't necessarily make you irresponsible. Just broke and ridden with exotic diseases.

So I guess I can buy that Sheen is responsible. But really, is any jilted husband as truly gracious as this guy is trying to seem? Just listen to what he says about Denise's new honey Sambora:

"...at least I knew the guy that she wound up with, Richie. To know that it's somebody decent and smart and a good parent to be around your children, that's a good thing."

God damn Charlie. Sounds like you want to fuck Richie Sambora.

I don't know if I can take all this well-wishing and magnanimity. I mean, what if other stars begin acting this way? What if Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin start behaving civilly toward each other? What if Heather Mills and Paul McCartney start gushing over each other's wonderful qualities. Jesus, what a nightmare!

Thank God we'll always have this crazy bitch:

Wow. Shanna looks ready to de-nut Barker if she ever gets her hands on him. Go Shanna!