Sunday, June 22, 2008

Amy Winehouse Has Emphysema, Has Been Ordered to Stop Smoking Drugs


Amy Winehouse's father Mitch has revealed that his daughter is suffering from emphysema. Doctors have told Amy that if she doesn't stop doing drugs and smoking she will wind up in a wheelchair with an oxygen mask permanently strapped to her face.

"To think this could be my beautiful 24-year-old daughter's life is preposterous," Mitch said in an interview. "But if drugs mean more to her than breathing properly, then so be it."

Mitch also has a message for the people he holds responsible for Amy's predicament:

"I'm saying to those drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack to Amy, then they've got to take responsibility. I don't want her hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either."

I suppose we should all blame Wal-Mart every time a fat ass buys another shopping-cart full of Doritos too? And why are we dragging Pete Doherty into this? Amy was a complete druggy mess long before Doherty entered the picture.

Amazingly, Mitch actually has nice things to say about Amy's criminal husband Blake Fielder-Civil:

"Blake apologised to me for getting Amy into drugs and says he's going to try and put it right," Mitch said.

"Blake was clean when I saw him but he's told me he wants to go into rehab. We've organised it so that as soon as he's out, that happens.

"He wants to go from zero to hero. It's very hard for him being in prison, but at least he's been trying."

I doubt Amy will live long enough to see Blake out of prison. Plus the guy's a complete lying sack of shit who only wants to get his hands on her money...but Mitch is too blind and/or stupid to see that.

Obviously, what Amy needs is a full-on Britney-style life take-over. Someone babysitting her 24 hours a day. Otherwise she'll back back in the nearest ditch selling her twat for crack. And she won't even be able to sing anymore because her lungs will be like two pieces of charcoal. Brilliant.