Robert Downey, Jr. has admitted in an interview that he used to be a compulsive masturbator but has been cleansed of said compulsions since becoming a married man. "I utilised that organ and rode it for everything it was worth," Downey said of his former life as an uncontrollable chicken choker. Great. Now I'm picturing Robert Downey, Jr. on the can, yanking his stick like a frantic monkey while waiting for the kid to bring the drugs. Everyone who ever shook hands with this guy is now icked out beyond imagination. Eh, who am I kidding? Every man's hand is suspect. You know your uncle with the "sweaty" palms? And those pictures of naked, frolicking schoolboys you once found shoved way down in the bottom of his wastebasket when you were nosing around at his house during the family cookout? And the way he used to sidle up to you and start fondling your ass? And that low, grunting noise he'd make?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Filling the Empty Hours Between Drug Binges
Robert Downey, Jr. has admitted in an interview that he used to be a compulsive masturbator but has been cleansed of said compulsions since becoming a married man. "I utilised that organ and rode it for everything it was worth," Downey said of his former life as an uncontrollable chicken choker. Great. Now I'm picturing Robert Downey, Jr. on the can, yanking his stick like a frantic monkey while waiting for the kid to bring the drugs. Everyone who ever shook hands with this guy is now icked out beyond imagination. Eh, who am I kidding? Every man's hand is suspect. You know your uncle with the "sweaty" palms? And those pictures of naked, frolicking schoolboys you once found shoved way down in the bottom of his wastebasket when you were nosing around at his house during the family cookout? And the way he used to sidle up to you and start fondling your ass? And that low, grunting noise he'd make?
