The most important thing in the entire world happened last night. Yes, I'm talking about the premiere of Angelina's new movie Changeling. This is an incredibly serious movie about incredibly serious things and Angelina is incredibly serious in it. So you better see it when it comes out. Unless you just want to be a frivolous person who doesn't care about all the important things Angelina cares about. I'm pretty sure this movie will change the world in some really positive way. It was directed by Clint Eastwood who only makes serious, important movies that change the world in positive ways. And most important, from Angie's perspective, is all the Oscar nominations Clint's movies always get. You know how bad Angie wants another little golden baby in the family to keep the other little golden baby from feeling lonely and left out. She figured she'd get one for A Mighty Heart but - surprise - she didn't even get nominated. She will almost certainly get nominated for this and may very well win. Unless it turns out her performance is just a bunch of shrill, screeching melodramatic nonsense. Then it will be up to Brad to bring home that second little golden baby for the family. And that, we all know, ain't gonna happen (unless people start winning Oscars for handsome squinting and silly comic flailing).
The Academy wouldn't dare gyp Angelina twice in a row though, would it? I mean, they do know who she is, right? They do realize that without Angelina keeping the universe in balance the whole thing would tip to one side and we'd all roll onto the floor and get squashed by giants. Yeah, better give her the Oscar. Or at least a Golden Globe. And Brad? Eh...what does he need an award for? He has Angelina.
