Hey Look...We Suck

Critics have chosen their worst films of 2008...and the winner? Will Smith's mawkish holiday weeper Seven Pounds, which narrowly beat out Mike Myers's culturally-insensitive comedy The Love Guru. Angelina Jolie's big histrionic missing-kid melodrama Changeling finished 9th. Australia was on there too and so was M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. None of this will stop any of the assholes involved from making movies in the future. Only killing the fuckers will accomplish that.

Mike Myers is Awfully Demanding for a Little Canadian Twit

Mike Myers made no friends among Conan O'Brien's staff when he appeared on the hulking funnyman's late-night program last Wednesday.

The Love Guru star, reports Page 6, made backstage people nuts by sending them out for, "Silk nondairy creamer, Twizzlers and raspberry seltzer," then bitching when the seltzer they brought him was the wrong brand. Some poor sap then had to run out and get the correct brand of seltzer.

That's about the moment when I personally would've split the bastard's head open with a fire extinguisher. But then again I've always had anger issues.

In other news: Myers' new film The Love Guru is a huge box office bomb. I see Wayne's World 3 on the horizon. Or maybe he could go back to playing the nutty German guy with the monkey. He must've done something funny in his life that he could dig back up.

Jessica Alba is a Horrible Actress

Jessica Alba struggles to act amused by the antics of Mike Myers, with whom she co-stars in some new movie.

I thought Myers had an aversion to physical contact. No, I read that somewhere...he doesn't like people touching him.

Alba now knows how that feels.