Crabbie's Hollywood Will Not Be Bullied By Celebs. We Are Amenable to Being Bribed, However.

The pussies over at Page 6 have caved in to threats of legal action from an irate Vince Vaughn.

The other day Vaughn, who is apparently still going out with Jennifer Aniston, said he was going to get litigious on the ass of any publication responsible for spreading the story that he was caught messing around with some broad he met at a charity function. So this morning, the lame-o's over at Page 6 published the following retraction/apology:

We apologize to [Vince] Vaughn for reporting on Oct. 11 that the Wedding Crashers star had been photographed "making out" with a "mystery blonde" at a party in London. The item, first reported in the London Sun, was incorrect. We're advised Vaughn was merely greeting a friend at the event and not kissing her "passionately." Any suggestion that the actor was being unfaithful to Aniston is totally false.

So that's how it is at Page 6. One lunkhead celeb like Vince Vaughn threatens a lawsuit and they get all "ooh we're sorry Vince, we didn't mean to hurt your feelings, please don't sic your lawyers on us..."

Luckily, we here at Crabbie's Hollywood (and by "we" I mean "I") are not so quick to fold. Even though we know nothing about the actual story, and can only take other people's word for it, we will continue reporting that Vaughn was seen groping, tonguing and doing all sorts of other naughty things to this unnamed slut, whoever the hell she may be. We will even go so far as to report that Vaughn ripped the woman's clothes off and started nibbling her pierced nipple - not because we know it's true, but because we want it to be true.

And after he got done nibbling her nipple, he went down on her. And after he got done going down on her she went down on him. And then they both went down on a dog that happened to be wandering through. And then Vince said, "You want to break into the zoo and go down on a giraffe?" and she said, "Yes," and they did. And then Vince crawled up an elephant's ass and played the tambourine.

See how much fun it is not to be bound by journalistic ethics?

Canada Down on Penn

They have some pretty stiff anti-smoking laws in Ontario - so stiff that they even apply to arrogant jerk movie stars like Sean Penn.

Authorities in the Canadian province are considering charges against the actor after he flouted their lung-friendly legislation by lighting up during a press conference at a Toronto hotel.

I say hang him by his sack. And while he's dangling there, make him watch The Interpreter over and over again. Or read him one of his rambling essays on Iraq.

Owen Wilson's a Dog (Not My Word)

Everyone knows Owen Wilson's been canoodling with Kate Hudson (and may have broken up her marriage with that homeless-looking Black Crowe dude), but the Wedding Crashers star has had other recent affairs that have been a tad more private. Oh wait - it's not private anymore because it's in Page 6. The p.r. babe he was hosing (no name given; probably a good thing for her). According to a source, Wilson and the nameless woman were starting to get "serious" (what's serious for Owen Wilson, exchanging names?) when the whole Kate Hudson thing came up, then Wilson dumped the other broad like a bad habit. Quoting the source: "When [nameless jiltee] e-mailed Owen about it, he texted her and said, 'We have to talk when I get back to L.A.' She's pretty upset, but everyone knows he's a dog." Yes, a dog with a nose like Joe Camel.

(source; last item)

Kelly Clarkson - Liquored Up Ho?

Kelly Clarkson has apparently decided to shed her good-girl image entirely and become yet another Lohan-like party-skank. According to witnesses, Ms. Clarkson, the original American Idol winner, showed up at the Key Club in Hollywood the other night, where some kind of awful '80s-retro rock band called Metal Skool was playing (they do know "school" isn't spelled like that right?). The witnesses reported that Ms. Clarkson got herself wasted on liquor, climbed up on stage waving a bottle around, ripped her vest off and tossed it into the crowd, then proceeded to air guitar her way through the evening.

The question then is this: Does Clarkson's image become edgier for this kind of behavior, or does a band like Metal Skool become unaccountably lame for being seen with Kelly Clarkson? And does anyone out there have any pictures of this event, cause I'd really like to add them to my Kelly Clarkson scrapbook.

(source)