Jessica Simpson can't handle it when her exes find new lovers. She flipped when Nick Lachey started fucking Vanessa Minnillo, and now it's been reported that she got plastered after news broke of John Mayer's fling with Jennifer Aniston.
Sources say that, on the same day Mayer admitted he was hosing Aniston, Simpson planted herself on a stool at L.A.'s Mexicali Cocina Cantina - before happy hour started - and spent the next four hours pouring booze down her throat.
Jess was so inebriated at the end of her session that she had to call her mom to come pick her up.
To make matters worse, it's also been reported that Jessica's most recent lover, Tony Romo, told his friends that he had dumped her. Reps for Simpson are denying this...but they're probably only doing it to save her from trying suicide.
So, when someone asks the question, "Who is more pathetic than Jennifer Aniston?" you can answer, "Jessica Simpson. But only by a little."
