I Don't Think I Can Osbear Any More

The Osbournes have landed a variety show and the publicity blitz is on. It's cute see cause it's like the Osmonds but it's the Osbournes who are much less wholesome than the Osmonds but now they have a variety show just like the Osmonds except it's the modern-day kind of show where Ozzy is completely incoherent and Sharon physically assaults the guests and Kelly vomits blood and Jack stands there looking like a fatter, faggier version of Spencer Pratt. I'm guessing Donny and Marie will be guests at some point. I hope they also get really crazy and vomit stuff. That would be cool.

Is Rachael Ray About to Get Fired?

Rachael Ray's reign of terror as a television twit may be at an end.

Page 6 reports today that Ray's syndicated show will not be picked up for another season by King World after the hostess's current contract expires. Ray's ratings have dipped to 2.0 this year after hovering around 2.2 in 2007. Compare that to Dr. Phil's average of 5.0, and consider that Ray's show is actually more expensive to produce...well, there you have the crux of the situation.

Ray's TV fortunes are not being helped any by the fact that everyone who works with her hates her.

Marie Osmond is reportedly being lined up by King World as Ray's successor. Osmond was last seen faking a faint on Dancing With the Stars, and blaming it on the smoke from the wildfires.

Yes, Marie Osmond may be even more vile than Rachael Ray. And that's saying something.