Twitter Angst

Conan O'Brien makes light of the Twitter outage. Apparently the whole thing was caused because some guy pissed off the Russians with his blogging about the unpleasantness with Georgia. I didn't know Putin was a hacker.

Oh, by the way, you can follow Crabbie on Twitter. It's actually quite fascinating. If you're slightly brain-damaged.

Shaking With The Figurehead

Obama's over in Russia doing the statesman thing with those dirty former Commies. Here he shakes with Russian president Medvedev who is nothing but Vladimir Putin's sock puppet. Look, they wore the same outfit sorta. That's a weird-looking douchy shake if I ever saw one. Obama grinning like he just fucked a white girl and Medvedev limply letting him grip his hand like he expects to be hauled off and spanked.

I wonder with the Rooskies think of Michelle Obama and her belts which she wears cinched up under her boobs as though she were the female Walter Brennan.

Starved For Yuks

Jessica Simpson's new film Major Movie Star debuted in Russia as the #1 movie in the country. The film stars Simpson as a washed-up film actress who enlists in the army...hmm, dippy blonde rich girl hits rock-bottom and enters the military. That doesn't sound the least bit like a certain Goldie Hawn vehicle from the early '80s. What the hell is going on in Russia that this thing would be their #1 movie? I almost feel sorry for them. It's been a bad year for them, between this, their little war with Georgia and having Sarah Palin constantly spying on them from her porch.

Serious Now

Thug Putin is done simply bombing Georgia...now he's begun the invasion. Russian forces have already taken the city of Gori, birthplace of Joseph Stalin, and the Georgians have fallen back to the capital of Tbilisi. Georgian soldiers stationed in Iraq (they're part of the Coalition of the Bribed) are being flown back to their country by the U.S. We're making them pay for gas right? I may have underestimated Putin...I didn't think he'd go this far. Apparently he means to take over the whole country. There's a highly vital oil pipeline running through it plus the Russians don't like that Georgia wants into NATO. I guess that's what it boils down to other than a bunch of flag-draped gangsters wanting to prove how tough they are by cuffing around a smaller, weaker nation.

Remember the good old days when America could still take a legitimate moral stance in a situation like this? Now we can't. Iraq has destroyed our credibility for at least a generation. That's George Bush's legacy. The Obama-heads probably think their guy could fix all this just by the force of his Obamaness. I don't know what McCain would do...maybe scramble the bombers. I wonder what Angelina's solution is. Maybe she could suck Putin off. Come on Angelina...do it for the cheeeeeldren.

Seems Like Old Times...

Dick-swinging Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin has flown into Vladikavkaz to be closer to the action in South Ossetia and Georgia. You mutts who live with your heads up your butts may not know that the Russians have been bombing the shit out of Georgia and driving tanks in and blockading and all that other war-like stuff. Yes, there is a world outside of what Britney is doing with her snatch today.

Putin is such a chest-thumping gorilla it makes me kind of laugh. It should be no shock that Bush could look into this fucker's eyes and know all about him...they're basically the same type. And hey, if Bush can invade Iraq just for giggles and oil profits, why can't Putin order air strikes on civilians in Georgia? You've got all those bombs sitting around...might as well use them.

Unfortunately, I'm certain cooler heads will prevail and the Rooskies will pull out. Putin is just feeling around to see how much he can get away with...he's not ready to go all-out on this thing. I still say Reagan should've made a faintly glowing lunar landscape out of Russia when he had the chance, but I suppose they would've just retaliated and fucked the hell out of Canada and Mexico with all their off-target shit. Obama should have fun dealing with these crazy fuckers while George is down in Crawford driving his new bulldozer.

Putin Named Man Of The Year

Time Magazine has decided to name Russian dictator Vladimir Putin its Man of the Year for 2007. Yeah, Putin must be the most important person in the world, cause 99% of earth's population outside Russia spent a grand total of 30 seconds each thinking about the guy.

If I ever need to amuse myself, I just imagine all the Time Magazine writers and editors huddled together in their little meeting room with their doughnuts and their coffee deciding which individual to anoint. Cause you know they treat the whole affair like it's the most important thing in the history of the universe. "Oh, we've got to get this right, cause everyone reads Time Magazine and the whole world is in incredible suspense about who we'll pick."

Actually, no Time Magazine - no one gives a flying fart about who you choose to be Man of the Year. Except, I suppose, other media types who will then report on your choice as though it were a real news story. All day we'll have in-depth analysis from putzes like Joe Scarborough and Wolf Blizter and those flaming twits on FOX, and stories like "Should Putin be Man of the Year?"plus acerbic commentary from Jack Cafferty and other miserable secret pill-poppers who make their living pretending they care about this shit when deep down they all want to be in Bangkok smoking opium and getting blown by teenage hookers.

As for Putin...that guy's ego can't get anymore inflamed, but still, I'm sure it flatters his vanity to be considered so important. He'll probably celebrate by poisoning some more political rivals with Dioxin, locking up a few more dissidents in rat-holes where they'll stay for forty years and maybe have a nice game of darts using his brand-new Kasparov dart-board.

(source)