Tom Hanks has hired a gun-toting thug to patrol the grounds of his Idaho ranch, which is at the center of a multi-million dollar dispute between the actor and a construction company. The thug is there, it's been claimed, to intimidate workers who are investigating the ranch on behalf of Storey Construction, the outfit Hanks is suing to recoup $2.5 million he says he shouldn't have had to pay on the grounds of shoddy work. The lawyer for Storey Construction thinks the guard and his semi-automatic pistol are a disaster waiting to happen.
"It's as hazardous a condition as you can have," said attorney Miles Stanislaw. "The other day, the guard tripped and fell on a piece of plywood with his gun on him. It could have gone off and had fatal consequences. It is inconceivable a person like Tom Hanks, who claims to be the voice of the little people, could tolerate this."
I don't know what Tom being the voice of the little people has to do with his ranch and his security guard. Nor do I remember Hanks ever claiming to be the voice of anything. He's an actor. A rich actor who thinks some construction company is trying to screw him. By the way...construction companies screw people all the time. Hanks' reps have shot back at Mr. Stanislaw:
One security guard had to be hired after Storey tried to force his way onto the Hanks' property at 7 a.m., unannounced, with five pickup trucks full of his cronies. The one guard that was hired is an off-duty police officer who, by Idaho law, is allowed to carry a gun.
Storey denies the allegation that he bullied his way onto the property in the wee hours. The hired guard, for his part, has characterized the Hanks-Storey unpleasantness as "a big pissing match." But he's getting paid to show his pistol around there so he'll keep doing it. A happy ending for this would be a huge furnace explosion or an avalanche or a Sasquatch attack. By the way Tom...fix that hair. You're a big star. Jesus.
