Reclusive movie star and super-hottie Keanu Reeves got himself pulled over at LAX today for running a red-light, so reports celebrity gossip site TMZ. The incident happened at around 3:00pm local time, and ended in Reeves being let off with a warning. My own sources tell me that Reeves has long had trouble remembering what the different color traffic lights mean. Oh, stop Crabbie - it isn't nice to pick on a man like that. Especially not one as delish as Keanu.
I remember one time when I was in one of my depressions, a bad one like I sometimes get because of this damned chemical imbalance (my mother smoked too many Luckies when she was pregnant with me). I was in such a terrible funk that all I wanted to do was lay around the house scooping ice cream down my throat and watching the tube (you know, like every other day), and suddenly in the midst of the darkness there came this vision: it was Keanu in that movie Sweet November, you know, the one with Charlize Theron as the kookie broad who used to be Sandy Dennis back in the old days. I tell you, watching Keanu in that movie just perked me right up. I thought to myself, "If Keanu Reeves can drag himself through a piece of horse crap like this, then I can surely roust myself out of bed and do something with my life." And I did. Of course the "something" wasn't much more than going into the kitchen to whip myself up a souffle, but hey, you know what they say - a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single dessert.
