Crabbie's Rundown: Pink Says Lay Off Mel, Beyonce Stays Focused, Boy George Un-Diva-Like

Pink Likes Mel

Pop-star Pink says people should forgive Mel Gibson for the hideous anti-Semitic remarks he made after being nailed for DUI. "I'm a fan of his work," says the fugly faux-punkster. "I think anybody with opinions like that needs well-wishing. And I'm Jewish. Alcohol makes you do crazy things."

Wait a sec. Pink is Jewish? What's her real name then? Pearl Pinkofsky?

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Beyonce No Lauryn Hill

Singer/actress/booty-shaker Beyonce says she has no intention of ending up like Lauryn Hill, the ex-Fugees songstress who had a smash hit with her solo record The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, then went so nutty from the pressures of success that she shaved her head and fled to the wilds of Brooklyn. "I'll never lose myself like Lauryn," says the big-butted Beyonce, adding, "I don't know what's going to happen to me but I know I'm more than a singer and I have so many other things in my life to keep me focused." Like booty-shaking. Shaking of the booty. Repeated sudden lateral movements of the hips resulting in jelly-like undulations throughout the fatty tissues of the posterior, better known as booty-shaking.

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Boy George a Good Old Boy

Boy George is not a bad sort at all, at least according to the guy responsible for supervising his recent stint as a sanitation worker. "George has responded extremely well," says New York city worker Jeremy Pearce. "He did it very conscientiously. He liked the people he was working with, both those who were doing community service and the sanitation people. It was hard but he enjoyed it. People were surprised. They thought he'd be a diva."

Ah-ha. That's it. The cure for chronic over-the-top bitchiness. Somebody needs to prescribe some sidewalk-sweeping to Elton John, pronto.

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