George Clooney and Renee Zellweger are apparently an item again.
Clooney, the smashingly handsome and politically active star of Syriana and The Peacemaker, was seen Sunday at a restaurant in L.A.'s Sunset Tower Hotel cuddling, holding hands and slow-dancing with ex-girlfriend Zellweger, the gratingly eccentric, revoltingly skinny star of Chicago and A Price Above Rubies.
What the hell is George Clooney thinking getting mixed up with that nut-bag Renee Zellweger? Does he just have a thing for psychiatric cases? Or did she slap some kind of voodoo curse on him that causes him to come crawling back to her every five years?
There's been a lot of talk lately about George Clooney maybe running for president (though George himself doesn't seem to want to entertain such notions). I personally think this would be a great idea. First of all, George would be the hottest president of all-time (even hotter than Franklin Pierce). Second of all, he would be much more heroic and activist than that dickhead George Bush, who only cares about making money for his oil cronies, and couldn't give a flying fuck if the poor people of Darfur keep getting killed off. I think, however, that it would be a great detriment to Clooney's political career to have someone like Renee Zellweger hanging on his arm. I mean, could you imagine first lady Renee Zellweger? And you thought Mary Todd Lincoln was crazy.
I just don't think it would do for the president of the United States to have a wife who can drink him under the table, and who finds it difficult to keep her legs closed in the presence of anyone with a pair of testicles. When I think of a first lady, I think of Jackie - elegant, sophisticated, heroically poised in the face of tragedy. I do not think of Renee Zellweger, a woman who had the poor taste to marry Kenny Chesney.
