Feuding queens Elton John and George Michael have decided to bury the hatchet. This is very disappointing to those of us who were hoping for a steelcage homo death-match between the two of them at some point.
I've got a few things to say to my fellow fags Elton and George while we're on the subject. Elton, will you please stop going all over the globe being belligerent? It gives queens a bad name. And George Michael. I love you. You know that. But please. Do you think you could go a week without getting arrested for something? I mean, getting arrested, maybe that does something for your image if you're already considered tough, but when people know you're nothing but a limp-wristed fairy, I'm sorry, it just isn't winning you any street-cred (the best it's ever going to get you is a job as a street-sweeper; just ask Boy George).
These two homos get way too much publicity. We need to focus more on positive gay role-models, like Michael Strahan of the New York Giants, or Jake Gyllenhaal, or Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum. You know, people who are achievers. Not an old angry flake like Elton John, or a can't-keep-it-in-his-pants pervert like George Michael.
(disclaimer: I have no proof that Strahan, Gyllenhaal or Santorum are gay. I have only wild surmises.)
