Don't believe Michael Lohan's outrage over allegations he fathered an illegitimate child...the bastard is actually thrilled about the prospect of his paternity being proven, because then he'll be in a position to sell his story for big dollars.
According to Page 6, the scumbag has already approached OK! and People in hopes of securing a $20,000 deal to tell his side. "He's approaching everyone to get the highest bid because, if he is the dad, he's going to need the money for back child support," a source said.
As if the mother would ever actually see any of that child support.
Meanwhile, the alleged half-sister of Lindsay and Ali, Ashley Kaufmann, is herself reportedly hot to parlay her sudden notoriety into a career as a singer.
"Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali," an unnamed record company source said.
"Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael (Lohan), not Dina Lohan," said one of Michael's friends.
Ashley has talent? Well, then tell Maury Povich to go home...we won't be needing a paternity test. Bitch is clearly not a Lohan.
