Adrien Brody - Woah Dude

Oh man - Adrien Brody is totally channeling my creepy downstairs neighbor in this picture. That guy who stands around all day smoking cigarettes (I think they're Old Golds - fucker doesn't have a job) and rambling about Stendhal. I don't think he's ever read Stendhal. I don't think he knows who Stendhal is. Neither do I, but that's doesn't really matter - I'm not the one rambling about him (or her). That look on Beyonce's face is the exact same one I always get when that goof tries to rope me into a conversation - about Stendhal. "No habla. No habla." He knows good and well I'm not Mexican. I don't look remotely Mexican. I drive a car manufactured after 1983. You'd think the fucker would get the hint eventually, but no. He's always there outside his door with his Old Golds and his dirty beard with the crumbs caught in it and his robe falling open. And his little dog yipping at me yip yip yip. I hate that cocksucker.

Adrien Brody Nearly Killed By Cow

Actor Adrien Brody had a brush with death while buzzing around on his motorcycle in India recently. The Oscar-winner recounts:

I almost died. I was behind a tuk-tuk, one of those little motorized rickshaws, when the driver suddenly pulled to the side and revealed a cow walking away from me on the road. I jammed on the brakes, skidded and nearly slammed straight into it.

I was laughing because it seemed so absurd. I was thinking, "This is going to be the way I'll be remembered: rear-ending a cow - all the years of hard work and this is it."

Rear-ending a cow, huh? That doesn't sound like such a bad way to go.

(source)