Should Jen Be Worried?

Blake Lively and Ben Affleck on the set of their new movie The Town. This was between takes. Looks like there could be some chemistry there, no?

Not saying Jennifer Garner should be on dump-alert, but, she is getting up there, and Blake is one of the hottest young pieces of tail in Hollywood. When the rumors start coming hot and heavy, just remember who told you first.

How Many Assistants Had To Die?

Martha Stewart dressed up as Medusa for her Halloween show. I bet that wasn't a hellish experience, making up Martha and getting her snakes and her gown just right. Did they do that gray make-up all over her body or just the parts that showed? That's Blake Lively as Cleopatra, by the way. Memo to Martha: Gossip Girl is so mid-September. Catch up, bitch.

Is She a Hobbit?

Bette Midler is really short. Dear Bette, please do us a favor and kick Blake Lively in the balls.

Is That Where You Keep Your Brain Sweetie?

I've seen all I ever want to see of Blake Lively. She's all over the place and the only thing I can figure is that the Gossip Girl people are buying space on blogs so their dumb little twatty stars can get exposure. And I'm mad about it - because no one offered me any of the money. And I'm such an idiot I just posted the bitch's picture for nothing.

Cuddly Actors Need a Towel-Off

Gossip Girl stars Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are reportedly icking everyone out with their on-set, between-take smooching. "It's gotten crazy, they are all over each other after every single take," a spy told Page 6. "They're constantly making out, and it's making everyone uncomfortable." Sounds like a flashback to Hanks and Scolari on Bosom Buddies. Those guys couldn't keep their hands off each other.

A completely irrelevant observation: The names "Lively" and "Badgley" are totally annoying together. Those two need to break up. Yesterday.

Gossip Girl Takes Offense at Paris Comparisons

Gossip Girl star Blake Lively is upset that people have been comparing her to Paris Hilton.

"Since I have a dog and blond hair, that must mean we're alike. It's a dumb thing to say. I don't think that makes us similar," Lively said. "I don't know her, but I don't like being compared to anyone by somebody who doesn't know me. I'm my own person. I don't go to clubs, I don't party, I don't dance on tables and I don't like sex tapes."

Wow...you sound boring as hell Blake. Maybe you should try to be more like Paris. Actually, I think Paris is the one who should be insulted by comparisons to you. What have you ever done anyway? You got a role on a TV show...big whoop. Have you been in major films like and House of Wax and The Hottie and the Nottie? Do you have an album? Have you sold thousands upon thousands of pornographic films?

Sorry Blake...you are no Paris.

Make Me Care

Remember the good old days when you had to actually achieve some measure of infamy before the blogs/tabs elevated you to "hot" status? Those days seem to be over. Now you can just walk around dressed stupidly and you'll be everywhere. Like these little twits from Gossip Girl. What has one of them ever done, besides make Perez Hilton get a hard-on? Make me care, Penn Whateverthefuck and Blake Whogivesashit. Go to rehab. Get caught having public sex. Become the subject of homosexual whispers.

Look at the two of you. You're like the nice couple who just moved in across the hall. You don't play your music very loud and you're careful not to slam the door when you go out at night. Stop it before I puke up me frosted Lucky Charms.