Should Jen Be Worried?

Blake Lively and Ben Affleck on the set of their new movie The Town. This was between takes. Looks like there could be some chemistry there, no?

Not saying Jennifer Garner should be on dump-alert, but, she is getting up there, and Blake is one of the hottest young pieces of tail in Hollywood. When the rumors start coming hot and heavy, just remember who told you first.

Pompous Ass Lampoons Pompous Ass

Missed this SNL clip...Ben Affleck goofing on Keith Olbermann. It takes awhile to get funny. No one deserves this sort of treatment more than Olbermann. I almost wish Obama would lose just to watch that ass-licker's head explode.

Sorta Hot?

Is it possible? Could it be? Ben Affleck looking kinda...hot?

Yeah, he's gotta stick with this look. Smelly highway drifter. Old pal who pops up out of nowhere, spends a week on your couch, steals your DVD player and runs. Douchebag Jesus.

Kate Hudson Watch

I've got Kate Hudson in the Who Will John Mayer Fuck Next pool. After the Aniston debacle, Mayer will want to soften his image by having some pics taken with a kid. Unless he plans on kidnapping one or trying to pry Jennifer Garner away from Ben Affleck, I say he hooks up with Hudson.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner - Still Not Split Up

The blogs are already throwing dirt on Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's marriage - yet there are Jen and Ben still together.

How dare they defy the gossip bloggers?

Matt Damon is a Fat-Ass

Matt Damon has a foolproof plan for winning an Oscar: He'll trick the Academy into thinking he's Philip Seymour Hoffman.

"I'm not Philip Seymour Hoffman...I'm Matt Damon, suckas!"

Ben Affleck snaps his fingers and says, "Why didn't I think of that? Oh right...I'm an idiot."

Ben Affleck - Angelina With a Penis

Ben Affleck went to the Congo to witness first-hand what happens when people have to live without valet service and proper hair-care products. In short? Not pretty.

Of course Ben wanted everyone to know that he'd made these three trips...so he went on Good Morning America to talk about them. And showed video of himself interacting with the disadvantaged. That's called raising awareness. Is Ben also a recovering heroin addict who dabbles in incest?

Ben Affleck May Have to Find Another Jennifer...Again

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are rumored to be close to splitting after three years of marriage. You homewrecker Jimmy Kimmel!

Affleck's reps denied the reports vehemently to E!'s Ted Casablanca, saying, "We usually don't comment on stuff like this. But you should know sources are liars. If you guys want to do the right thing, you won't post that item. It's all BS."

Casablanca claims the new report came from the same source who correctly tipped him off when Garner was dumping her old boyfriend Michael Vartan in favor of Affleck. I've now written three more paragraphs on this story than it deserved.

Jimmy Kimmel F**king Ben Affleck Vid. Holy Crap, Harrison Ford Is A Homo!

Ben Affleck Builds A Doll House

"Matt is gonna love his Christmas present this year."

Is There Something You Want To Tell Us Ben And Jen?

Violet does her "Matt Damon's My Real Daddy Dance."

Matt Damon Rips Ben Affleck

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are still buddies - or at least they will be until Ben reads what Matt had to say about him in an interview. Let's just say that Matt is rather frank about the direction Ben's career has gone since they both won Oscars for writing Good Will Hunting (which we all know was actually 2/3 written by their pal Kevin Smith but whatever). Quoth Damon:

He picked [roles] that in hindsight weren't a good choice. I also think that if you end up on the cover of gossip magazines you're fucked. When people see you all the time there's no mystery about you any more and no one's going to want to go and see your movies.

Oh Matt - easy for you to say when you have a huge hit like The Bourne Ultimatum and poor Ben is just lucky anyone wants to take his picture while he's out playing with Violet in the sandbox. It isn't Ben's fault his dick got all hard for Jennifer Lopez, robbing him of the ability to reason properly and leading to him doing Gigli and Jersey Girl. That Jennifer's got a fine booty - what was Ben supposed to do, not rub his package against it? And Daredevil - clearly, Ben was using a lot of hair-restoration products at the time, which obviously soaked into his skull and short-circuited his judgment. There's no way Ben Affleck in his right mind takes that part. But, we all make mistakes and have to move on from then. And we all sort of hope that our friends will be there to support us - but obviously, Matt, you're more interested in taking shots at Ben in interviews than you are in helping the boy out. So much for that blood oath you guys swore once upon a time. And so much for those hot, sticky nights in your tent, when Ben introduced you to the joys of butt-sex. Sad.

(source)

More Damon/Affleck Lameness

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck hang ten or whatever they call it when people crawl onto those silly surfboards and play shark-bait. Um - is Matt worried about Ben there or is he checking out Ben's ass? Or both? And where's Jennifer here? Getting head from the cabana boy I reckon. Matt will want some of that later, maybe Ben too.

Lame-O Getaway

Matt Damon, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck enjoy a holiday in Hawaii. Remember how cool people thought Matt and Ben were back about ten years ago? Now they look like they should be hanging around a barbecue grill sucking brewskis and talking about aluminum siding.

By the way - why does Ben look like he has a huge erection sticking way out to the side of his shorts? Is his penis like a phototropic plant growing toward the sun? Or maybe it's just pointing away from Jennifer. Like Captain Jack's magic compass - except this one leads you away from what you want least.

Ben And Jen At Catch And Release Premiere

Jennifer Garner attends the premiere of her new film Catch and Release. Jennifer is actually trying to smile here, which is a switch. Normally she's got that look on her face like she's straining to keep a cantaloupe from falling out of her ass.

Oh look, it's Ben Affleck. Does Ben ever not look like he's chewing on a big hunk of shit? And seriously, what's with the hair Ben? It looks like a fan is gently blowing in your face. Affleck is so gay, but won't admit it. Unless you consider being married to a she-male a de facto admission.