All-Star Send-Off

Michael Jackson's earthly remains were finally laid to rest yesterday at fabled Forest Lawn cemetery, where lots of big stars like Clark Gable are also interred. The funeral service was scheduled to begin at 7 pm local time, but reportedly, the Jackson family didn't show up until 8:30. What the hell happened? Jermaine misplace his sparkly glove? LaToya misplace her nose? Joe decide to give everyone one last whupping for old time's sake?

Poor old Liz Taylor had to sit there for an hour and a half, waiting for the creepy Jacksons to finally arrive. Were it me, I would've gotten up and walked out. And taken a bunch of flowers with me. Might as well get something out of it.

Dark Knight Now 49th Highest-Grossing Film

Warners is going to hype The Dark Knight reaching 3rd on the all-time North American box-office list, and the media will go along with this like the sheep they are. But Crabbie knows better. The Dark Knight has grossed $441 million in its run, which places it 49th on the all-time list, right behind the Bing Crosby/Ingrid Bergman classic The Bells of St. Mary's (TDK has yet to even catch the Tim Burton Batman). You gotta adjust these things for inflation folks. Tickets cost a quarter back in the day. Gone With the Wind remains #1 with an adjusted gross of $1.43 billion. Nothing will ever touch that in our lifetimes. Just on raw ticket sales, Gone With the Wind is still and will forever be the most-seen film. It was also the most wildly-hyped film. I don't think we can really appreciate how big a deal that movie was in its day. Nor how big a star Clark Gable was. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are really pipsqueaks by comparison. They'd probably admit that if you asked them.