At Least He Still Has His Health. Oh Wait...

Patrick Swayze's show The Beast has been canceled by A&E after 13 episodes, according to reports that have yet to be confirmed by the network. It's been suggested that Swayze's on-going health problems made the network leery of continuing with the actor in the lead, and they didn't want to replace him because it would've looked heartless. Of course they had no problem hiring him in the first place, knowing he was sick, and that they'd get publicity off of the whole "Swayze working through the pain" angle.

A&E sucks anyway. They're responsible for the fame of Criss Angel and Dog the Bounty Hunter, for fuck sake. When Swayze dies, I hope he comes back as some kind of avenging spirit and eats the faces of all the A&E execs. Especially the ones who came up with Growing Up Gotti.

Britney Not A Fan Of Angel

Apparently there's been some kind of falling-out between former collaborators (wink, wink) Britney Spears and Criss Angel.

We remember that the two were nearly inseparable for awhile there when Britney was "planning" her VMAs appearance and Criss was supposedly helping her - but now Britney doesn't want anything to do with Criss, though Criss continues making overtures toward her like inviting her to his big Vegas show on November 8. A friend of Britney's told new MSNBC gossip ho Courtney Hazlett:

She hasn’t thought about Criss Angel once since her MTV Video Music Awards show debacle. He used Britney for fame. Now that he has his new TV show, he wants press again and he’s is using her. People think she’s a fool, but she knows when she’s being used, and the stakes are higher than they’ve ever been.

I don't know about those stakes, but I do know Britney's higher than she's ever been - and that's pretty damn high. Must be some good stuff. Apparently, it's not good enough to blind to her to the intentions of a self-promoting dickhead like Criss Angel Mindfreak though. She totally sees through that guy. Honestly though, who wouldn't? He's a magician. As David Copperfield has taught us, magicians are some creepy fuckers who all women should stay away from. That goes double for anyone silly enough to go around calling himself "Mindfreak." Fucking hilarious nickname. Think I'll call myself Melvin Crabtree Assfreak from now on.

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Britney's New Boy?

Britney Spears and Criss Angel Mindfreak are probably screwing. Some pro-Britney site called BreatheHeavy (should be called MouthBreathers) claims the two were only working on Britney's upcoming "surprise" VMA appearance when they were seen having dinner yesterday, but other sources claim they were spotted going into a hotel at four in the morning. So you draw your own conclusions. I know what mine is - these two had wild sex at about four in the morning. And then Criss sawed Britney in half and went to get a coffee.

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Lohan's New Conquest - The Mindfreak

Lindsay Lohan has gone where many skanks including Cameron Diaz have gone before - into the realm of the Mindfreak. Yup, Lohan bagged Criss Angel - at least that's what we're going to assume after seeing these pictures of the two of them in Vegas over the weekend. A pretty safe assumption given that I don't think either one of them has ever experienced an impulse they didn't follow through on.



Look closely and you will see the alcohol-monitoring bracelet Lindsay has opted to wear to help her stay sober now that she's officially exited rehab. It seems like a responsible move on the surface - then we realize that this is Lindsay Lohan and the bracelet is probably fake, just another ploy like the water bottles to make us think she's not back on the sauce. You're so clever Lindsay - but you don't fool Crabbie. Once a drunken ho, always a drunken ho. Right Courtney?




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