Girl Gone Wild

Emmy Rossum celebrated her 22nd birthday by getting completely crazy. Look at her holding up that cake - man, is she wasted. And look at her trying to blow out those three candles. She can't even muster any breath! 22 and already dying of black-lung? She makes Amy Winehouse look like the picture of health. Such a shame...

No One's That Happy

Emmy Rossum's a cute girl but there's something wrong with her. I bet she's one of those compulsive sink-scrubbers. It just never shines enough, does it Emmy?

Hey Leighton - how's your mom doing? She out yet?

Is That Verne Troyer?

My first thought when I saw this picture was, "Gosh, Emmy Rossum is so sweet to give that poor little Progeria kid an autograph." Then I looked closer and realized it was Verne Troyer. Isn't it? Or maybe Patrick Swayze's cancer has really come back on him big-time.

Dork Nails Hollywood Hottie

This is Emmy Rossum and her boyfriend together in Malibu. I have no idea who this guy is, but he just reeks of "aspiring screenwriter who works at Kinko's, and buys his clothes at trendy mall stores." I bet he writes her poetry. Or he must have a 15 incher. There's got to be some explanation for why Emmy would fuck a guy who looks like Marilyn Manson's uglier, less-cool little brother.



Emmy, you are a beautiful movie actress. Why does your boyfriend look like a gawky adolescent trying for his first kiss at the junior-high dance? I bet his breath smells like Doritos. Got to be 15 inches at least. Nobody's that good a poet.

Emmy Rossum's New Look

Cute little Emmy Rossum attends the Maria Callas Collection Preview (whatever the hell that is) in New York. Interesting look Emmy's sporting there. Sort of reminds Crabbie of something...

Oh yeah. This bit Crabbie did a couple months back. I took a picture of Emmy and photoshopped some garish make-up onto it:

And, of course, I got trashed for it by some little commenter:

Whatever! That is so Photoshopped! She has way more class than that you boob.

Oh, so I'm a boob, am I? So Emmy Rossum would never paint herself up like a circus clown, would she? She's got way more class than that, does she? Well who's the boob now, boob?

Emmy Rossum May Need an Intervention

Phantom of the Opera star Emmy Rossum appears at the 22nd Annual Artios Awards in Beverly Hills. She went straight there after an audition at Cirque de Soleil, apparently.