If They Build It, It Will Almost Fall On You

Kevin Costner and his new country band (eye-roll) were only minutes from going on-stage at some Canadian music festival when said stage was hit by a mighty wind and collapsed on top of another act, killing one person and injuring 60, including two members of Costner's band.

Kevin was among those who was not hurt. Witnesses say the former actor jumped into the fray and began helping pull people from the wreckage. Sure, cause the ghost-voice told him to. The same one that told him to grow a soul-patch and become a country singer. The same one that told him to do Waterworld and Message in a Bottle. Sometimes the ghost-voice gets it right, other times, not so much.

Disaster In The Making

Russell Crowe as Robin Hood sounds about as lame as Kevin Costner as Robin Hood - and this is coming from somebody who thinks Russell Crowe is a great actor. The problem is, the dude is just too old and fat to be playing Robin Hood. You need somebody graceful and young to play Robin Hood, somebody swashbuckling and high-spirited. Crowe is big and thick and heavy and brooding, and going by that costume, that's exactly the kind of Robin Hood we're going to get. This whole endeavor seems pointless to me and it will be really hilarious watching the movie go down in flames.

Thank Christ

Human sleeping pill Kevin Costner has nixed the idea of appearing in a sequel to his Oscar-winning Western Dances With Wolves. "I'm not in it," Costner said when asked about sequel scuttlebutt. "But I've heard that ... I don't think I'm involved. I'm not planning to be involved in any way." Well good...hopefully this will deter anyone from even doing a sequel. I'm sorry, but Dances With Wolves has to be the single worst film in the history of creation. A bunch of mumbling Indians, a Christ-like white man and some National Geographic shots of buffalo do not a stimulating moviegoing experience make. Listlessly-directed self-important hippie drivel with a big rousing score is all that thing is.

Doucheface

I don't know Kevin Costner, but I can tell by looking at him that he's a complete douche. How old is this guy now, sixty? Shouldn't he be through the mid-life crisis thing? He looks like Don Johnson's father. Nice Miami gangster suit too Kevin. Jesus God.