Brad took
Maddox to a baseball game the other night as a belated birthday present. Apparently, Maddox is a big fan of Yankee
dirtbag shortstop
Derek Jeter. Maddox got a big treat when Derek brought him a signed bat (he also gave one to
Spike Lee's son as we see in the picture). As we know, Derek has a habit of slipping long, hard objects to people - and often, when he does this, he gives them herpes. That being the case, if I were Brad Pitt, I would have that bat taken to a lab and tested pronto. In fact, the smart thing might be just to burn the damn thing, then buy another one and forge Jeter's signature and give it to Maddox. Kid'll never know the difference. Plus you'll be protecting him from getting a nasty infection.
By the way, how must the other kids feel, watching Derek give souvenirs to the children of the two rich, famous guys. Those poor jilted kids will now probably grow up to be terrorists. They'll probably go to a training camp funded by the money
Charlize Theron makes from selling her snatch on street-corners.
