Bollywood Actresses Table Calendar 2009

How Did Santa Know?

All Crabbie wanted for Christmas was a big flaming feud between Courtney Love and the Kardashian family - and Santa delivered! Actually, it was Courtney who delivered...a big giant sucker-punch to Kim Kardashian's brother Rob via her MySpace blog (the one she was going to stop writing because it upset her daughter so much). According to Courtney, Rob is a violent homophobe and the LAPD doesn't care about gays being beaten up outside clubs:

hi kids, if you are expecting Santa to read you a bedtime story on this new blog, think again! what i am about to direct is something many of you can relate to, and hopefully are disgusted by..which is the icky trend of straight heterosexual males who commit hate crimes that are secretly in the closet, yes, Rob Kardashian the son of the discgr3aceful Robert Kardashian who represented a cold blooded murderer and made lots and lots of money..well rob jr cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my GUY was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside hyde lounge closed, then right after yelling the words "FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT!" Rob JR punched my guys in the face. My guy has 3 witnesses who saw rob jump out of the SUV and because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power, you broke his nose and caused blood to shed, well lets fast forward shall we...the guy who works for me did not file a police report that night cause he did not need tmz's camera's outside this trendy nightclub to cause any more FUCKERY to what was suppose to be a birthday celebration, instead he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.

Of course you would expect the Kardashians to respond to such a vicious attack, and they didn't disappoint. Here's what Kim posted on her official website:

Courtney Love wrote a disturbing blog this morning that is obviously very untrue...

Ms. Love immaturely called my brother Rob names and accused him of physically assaulting her “employee” at Hyde nightclub, breaking his nose.

This is TOTALLY FALSE!

A lot of what she wrote doesn’t even make much sense and doesn’t follow a clear train of thought... At one point she says Brody was there too and that someone yelled discriminatory expletives against gay people, but I honestly can’t figure out who she is accusing because her writing is so bad.

All I know is that both Brody and Rob didn’t do anything close to what Ms. Love has described.

My entire family’s response is this: We are so saddened to hear that someone is blogging this insanity on Christmas Eve. Everything this person writes is obviously untrue and we will forward this terrible nonsense to our attorneys. Merry Christmas!

Kim is the daughter of famed O.J. attorney Robert Kardashian, but obviously, she didn't learn any tricks from her father, otherwise she would've thought up something a little meatier than the "I can write slightly more coherently than Courtney therefore I'm right and she's wrong" defense. She might as well have just said she was smarter because she has a bigger ass. I'm sure Courtney will have some deliciously incomprehensible response to Kim's response. By the way, I'm not necessarily on the side of the allegedly wronged gay Courtney Love employee here. Yes he was the apparent victim of a homophobic attack and that's wrong, but then again, he was hanging out with Brody Jenner, which makes it sort of difficult for me to sympathize with him. And by the way...does Brody have something he wants to tell us?

Royal Rug Burn

Prince William is having trouble growing hair on top of his head so he decided to grow some on the bottom. It's not the worst beard I've seen.

Worthless Baby

Ashlee Wentz and Pete Simpson failed in their efforts to sell pictures of their baby Kimchee the Jungle Boy, so they put some on the web for free, claiming they were offered big bucks but declined. Cause they have principles. Same as Tara Reid when she refuses to blow men for coke.

Scientists Discover New Species

Scientists combing a tropical beach discovered this revolting specimen - some kind of half-human, half-crab - and named it Donatella Versace. If you see one coming, just try not to vomit on the person next to you. I will never eat beef jerky again as long as I live.

Back Up The Moving Van...

Sam Ronson went into the hospital Sunday for "exhaustion" and now we know why: She had a huge fight with wife Lindsay Lohan that included glass being broken and, according to neighbors, lots of obscenity. No doubt, Ronson wanted to lay a good suicide guilt-trip on Lohan after it was over. Those are the best. "I swear to God I'll swallow this whole thing of pills and all this booze and slit my throat you fucking bitch!" Good times.

Spreading Holiday Annoyance

How long does it take Mariah Carey to get herself ready before she goes out the door. A week? How many stylists does this bitch have on-hand? And she still looks like warmed-over shit.