Brooke Hogan Refers to Herself as "An Old Car"

Brooke Hogan has chosen to address the public's disgust and outrage at widely circulated pictures of her vile father Hulk applying lotion to her ass.

"I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," the she-male said. "He used to change my diaper!"

He used to change your diaper...which is exactly why he shouldn't be touching your ass!

Besides which, there's a whole lot more than just ass-lotioning going on in those pictures. You may be an "old car" Brooke, but that doesn't mean daddy has any business sticking his finger in your tailpipe.

(By the way...John Graziano will never get to rub lotion on any skank's ass again. Just thought I'd remind everyone.)

Disturbing Video of John Graziano

This is what God does to people when He wants to teach them a lesson.

Warning: It's bad.

What You Gonna Do When Grazimania Runs Wild on You?

Hulk Hogan has received several threatening voice messages from Frank Graziano, brother of vegetative Marine John Graziano. Radio host and shameless pro-Hoganite Bubba the Love Sponge acquired copies of said messages and played them on the air. What follows is an excerpt from Mr. the Love Sponge's presentation...complete with bleeps.

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Good thing they translated that for us...I don't speak mush-mouthed asshole.

Am I the only one who pictures Frank Stallone every time I hear Frank Graziano?

Here's the problem for the Grazianos...it's kind of hard for them to hold onto the moral high ground when they go around behaving like that. Plus they're sort of playing into Hogan's hands. Hogan's whole thing is that John was giving off bad vibes and God struck him down for it. If John was anything like his brother Frank? I'd say he probably had a good striking down coming.

The happiest result here would be for Frank Graziano and Hulk Hogan to get into some kind of fight that ended with them falling off a cliff or perhaps getting chopped up by helicopter blades. Maybe they could sell the pay-per-view rights.

Hulk Hogan Again Lays Graziano's Misfortune at God's Door

Hulk Hogan went on Larry King last night, with his lawyer by his side of course, to put his spin on all the stuff regarding his incarcerated dipshit son Nick. The big headline is that Hulk continues to say it was God's will that John Graziano ended up a vegetable. He thinks the ordeal is making John a better person. Well, let's put it this way...it's pretty hard for John to do anything bad in the state he's in. So yes, I guess becoming a veg does make you a better person.

The above clip made me laugh for several reasons. One, Hulk's pitiful attempt at summoning tears. Did he think he was back on some silly wrestling program there for a second? Two, Hulk's assertion that he and his son and daughter "walk with Christ." Really? Was Brooke walking with Christ when she wore this?


If ever there was a time for Larry King to reach over and slap someone, it was right then.

Why do people like Hogan think they're helping themselves with these kinds of appearances? He just seems like an even bigger asshole now...the same way Paris did after her post-jail appearance with Larry.

John Graziano's Brother Rips the Hogans

John Graziano's brother Frank, as you may have guessed, is no fan of the Hogan family...a fact he made explicitly clear during a rant on a radio show.

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Your indignation is of course justified Frank...unfortunately, you sound like as much of a buffoon as any member of the Hogan family. This does not dispose us to feel sympathy toward you or your brother, who could not have been the brightest bulb in the strand himself, given that he was hanging around with Nick Hogan.

But you win by default, because we hate the Hogans so much.

Brooke Hogan Survives Car Crash, Tweaks John Graziano

You'd think the Hogan family would want to distance themselves as much as possible from talk of John Graziano, the alleged family friend whom jailbird Nick rendered vegetative via car crash.

Then again, we already know the Hogans aren't the brightest bulbs in the strand...so maybe it's not a surprise that they keep slamming John directly and indirectly, hence reinforcing everyone's view that they are all vile, reprehensible and heartless people.

Brooke Hogan, daughter of Hulk, was the latest to take a swipe at the comatose John. Ms. Brooke, it turns out, was just in a fender-bender of her own (not being able to drive is apparently a family trait). Afterward, writing in her blog, Brooke attributed her survival of said accident to her seatbelt:

I don't know if you heard, but my friend and I got into a really bad car accident today ourselves . . . As I turned on my car I clicked my seatbelt. As we pulled out onto the road, I looked over and realized my friend didn't have her seatbelt on. I reminded her to put it on and the minute she clicked it, a car crashed into us. It was a horrible car accident, one that most would be severely hurt in, but we had our seatbelts on and they kept us in tight.

Graziano, as most people know, was not wearing his seatbelt when he suffered his brain injuries. The Hogan family has insisted since then that Graziano's state should be blamed not on Nick's idiocy, but on Graziano's own foolishness in not strapping in.

Clearly then, Brooke's little blog post was meant as further reinforcement of the family line. This, in my opinion, is nothing but a bullying tactic, John Graziano being utterly incapable of defending himself.

Brooke also seems to be directly contradicting stuff her father Hulk recently said about Graziano's injuries being divinely inflicted. In one of Hulk's pitiful phone conversations with the incarcerated Nick, Hulk made it known that he believes Graziano was being punished by God for bad stuff he did.

So, by Hulk's logic, it wouldn't have made any difference for Graziano to wear his seatbelt, right? Or am I being too generous in attributing to Hulk any capacity for "logic" at all?

At any rate...it appears no one in the Hogan family has the class or pure public relations savvy to realize that they should now all shut up about John Graziano. Anything negative they say about him is going to look like piling-on. He's in a coma...he can't stand up for himself. When you attack him you just look like a brute.

Brooke Hogan is One Angry She-Male

Brooke Hogan is spitting mad over the way her jailbird brother Nick has been represented since he murdered the mind of his friend John Graziano.

Yesterday, Brooke vented her frustration by posting the following on MySpace:

I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I'm really pissed that the truth didn't come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn't from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some shit doesn't start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I'm starting to figure it out. And I'm gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don't understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He's not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…

Brooke later took that posting down (too late to keep it from getting all over the web) and put up the following in its place:

I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later. PEACE

ps: yes I took my last one off cause I know itll go around anyway. Have at it ppl.

Here's the truth Brooke dear: Your brother was driving around half-drunk on beer with someone else in his car. He raced another car. He crashed. The passenger is now a vegetable. Little Nicky had been pulled over on other occasions for speeding and reckless driving but always been let off. His bullshit finally caught up with him and he was given 8 months in county. So, what the fuck does "he's not the Nick Hogan you see on TV" have to do with anything? What the fuck difference does it make what anyone says about him? He did what he did, got nailed, and was sentenced after pleading no contest. If he had a case, why didn't he fight? Innocent people don't fold that easy Brooke.

Sorry sweetie, but the question of whether your brother has been misrepresented in the media is irrelevant...he conceded his guilt in court, of his own free well, and accepted the consequences. And by the way...if you and Hulk and Nicky and your dumb-ass mom didn't want to engender this false public perception, then why did you agree to do the reality show? It's called a "reality show." The whole bit is to pretend you really are those people. You can't do it, willingly, and then bitch that people now have misconceptions. Hello asslick...you signed the fucking contract!!!

And why are you worried anyway? Nick will do a couple months, be let out for good behavior, and go back to being his old douchey self. And John Graziano will have someone to feed him his mashed nanas and wipe his shit and it won't have to be you. You've got a whole career as a tranny fake singer to look forward to. And many more ass-rubs from your pervert old man. Life is good for you Brooke. John Graziano is the one who should be bitching...but, oh darn, he has no mind anymore.

Nick Hogan Gets 8 Months in Jail

Nick Hogan has received a sentence of 8 months in county jail for murdering the brain of his friend John Graziano in a car crash. He also got his license ripped for 3 years, 5 years of probation and 100 hours of community service per year for 5 years.

He will begin serving his sentence immediately. So, the roads of Florida will be safe for at least the next 8 months. Except for all the old farts having strokes in traffic.

Video: Hulk Hogan Testifies On Behalf of His Son Nick

Nick Hogan is having his sentencing hearing today (it was still going on at the time of this posting). Nick has plead no contest, throwing himself on the mercy of the court. Nick's father Hulk testified on his behalf, telling the judge his son has had a lot of growing up to do since the accident that turned John Graziano into a veg. Hulk then admitted that his "reality show" was in fact scripted and fake, and claimed that Nick's spoiled asshole TV persona was all an act.



John Graziano's father also testified. He said that during Nick's visits to John in the hospital, Nick appeared bored, and once even amused himself by skateboarding around the hospital. I guess that was scripted too.

At one point the court made Nick look at video of Graziano shortly after the accident. Nick appeared slightly druggy as he stared at the TV screen. Nick said during the standard "do you understand what is happening" questioning by the judge that he has his GED, and has never been treated for mental illness. I said to DD, "Being a Hogan is a form of mental illness."

Nick Hogan Will Cop a Plea

TMZ is reporting that Nick Hogan will enter an open plea over the charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury stemming from the 2007 car crash that left his friend John Graziano a vegetable.

The open plea means the judge will have complete leeway in sentencing. Graziano's family will be able to come in and give victim impact testimony at the hearing. Sources say no deal has been made with prosecutors. The most Hogan could get is five years.

Of course there's no way he'll do five years...he most likely won't even do five minutes. Clearly, Florida is not interested in keeping reckless drivers off the streets, or they would've ripped little bastard Nick's license after his second or third time being pulled over for speeding.

This fucker makes me sick...almost as sick as his deranged father and tranny-looking sister.

Hogans Sued by Family of John Graziano

The family of John Graziano has officially sued Nick Hogan and his idiot parents Hulk and Linda over the car wreck that left Mr. Graziano a vegetable.

The lawsuit cites three counts of negligence against Hulk, one each against Linda and Nick, and one against Daniel Jacobs, the guy driving the vehicle Nick was racing at the time of the accident.

The suit claims Hulk and Linda should've known Nick was a reckless driver and done something to curtail his behind-the-wheel activities. It also claims they were aware that he was drinking on the day of the wreck.

The suit only adds to little Nicky's legal headaches - the bastard already faces a felony charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury.

So Nick and the family get sued. And even if they lose, the money they forfeit will make only a slight dent in Hulk's fortune. Meanwhile, the lawyers get rich, and John Graziano is still drooling on himself.

Clearly, this is no fit punishment for Nick. Something much more drastic is called for. Like castration.

What am I saying...that little mutant probably doesn't even have anything to clip off.

John Graziano's Family Tells Hogans to Beat it

Nick Hogan and the rest of his evil family are no longer welcome at the bedside of John Graziano, the man Nick nearly killed in a car wreck last year.

The Grazianos' decision stemmed directly from the Valentine's Day incident, shown in the photograph above, which saw Nick Hogan and his vile mother and sister bringing gifts to the vegetative John. The photos ran all over the Web, and convinced the Grazianos that the Hogans were only using these visits to John to make themselves look more sympathetic.

"We believe that it was a total (public relations) stunt," the Grazianos' attorney Kimberley Kohn said of the Valentine's Day visit.

A lawyer for the Hogans struck back, saying, "The Bollea family has been visiting John for the last seven or eight months, and there's been no PR about it whatsoever. It's a bunch of nonsense to suggest their visits to John are a PR stunt. That's crazy."

Oh please...of course the visits were PR stunts. Why else would they walk right out in the open with their big, obvious gifts? "Hey, look at us, we're bringing cheap shit to the guy one of us nearly killed. This should make him feel lots better, even though he's almost brain dead and will spend the rest of his life not being able to speak or think or even shit right."

The Hogans make me sicker than almost anyone else on earth. They are rank. Hulk Hogan should never have been allowed to spread his steroid-damaged seed. Now we've got Brooke and Nick, the extra-chromosome twins, running around like they're the shit. Well you're not the shit...you are just plain shit.