Audio of Nick Hogan's Phone Call to His Mom

The press have gotten hold of Nick Hogan's phone calls to his mom from jail. In the one featured above, Nick expresses regret that he didn't fight the case...because his cell is only half the size of his bathroom and he only has a cot to sleep on.

Um...jail's supposed to be bad Nick. You know that right?

Nick's mom Linda's response to his whining makes me hate her worse than the other Hogans all put together. And at the end, Hulk says he's proud of Nick for the way he's handled himself. Uh...you're proud of your son for being a whimpering little pussy? Whatever brother.

Hogans Sued by Family of John Graziano

The family of John Graziano has officially sued Nick Hogan and his idiot parents Hulk and Linda over the car wreck that left Mr. Graziano a vegetable.

The lawsuit cites three counts of negligence against Hulk, one each against Linda and Nick, and one against Daniel Jacobs, the guy driving the vehicle Nick was racing at the time of the accident.

The suit claims Hulk and Linda should've known Nick was a reckless driver and done something to curtail his behind-the-wheel activities. It also claims they were aware that he was drinking on the day of the wreck.

The suit only adds to little Nicky's legal headaches - the bastard already faces a felony charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury.

So Nick and the family get sued. And even if they lose, the money they forfeit will make only a slight dent in Hulk's fortune. Meanwhile, the lawyers get rich, and John Graziano is still drooling on himself.

Clearly, this is no fit punishment for Nick. Something much more drastic is called for. Like castration.

What am I saying...that little mutant probably doesn't even have anything to clip off.

Hogan Funny Business?

Kimberley Kohn, an attorney for brain-dead Nick Hogan pal John Graziano, claims the sudden divorce filing by Hulk's wife Linda is part of a ploy intended to protect the family's assets when a civil suit is finally filed against them on Graziano's behalf. It's all too complicated for the Crabster so I'll just let St. Petersburg Times writer Tamara El-Khoury explain it:

Kohn said Monday a divorce could be one step the Bolleas could take to try to protect assets. That's because it could cut Terry [Hulk] Bollea's assets in half, she said.

Nick Bollea faces a felony charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, and attorneys for John Graziano's estranged parents have said they intend to file a lawsuit as a result of the crash.

But if the Supra and the Viper are not registered to both parents, it could be harder to go after Mrs. Bollea individually, Kohn said. The mother's degree of control over who used the vehicles would have to be determined.

I've got a simpler solution to all of this. Instead of somebody suing somebody for money, how about just making the person directly responsible pay for their actions in an appropriate manner? Nick Hogan, I think, should be the only one held liable for Graziano's injuries. I mean he was the idiot driving the car. It's immaterial how he got to be an idiot in the first place - at some point little dumb-asses with dumb-ass parents who raised them to have no respect for society or even human life have to be taught the concept of personal accountability.

What would constitute a suitable punishment though? Jail? A suspended license? Too unimaginative. No, I think Nick should be subjected to something more poetic. I think Nick, for at least the next ten years, should have to live with John Graziano. He should have to keep John company during every waking moment. He should have to feed John his baby food, and clean the shit from him, and change his catheter and whatever else is required from a maintenance stand-point. Too extreme you say? Well, the Crabster is not without compassion even for asshats like Nick Hogan. If at any time Nick should become unable to take it anymore, he should have the choice to opt out of his punishment and accept what's behind door number 2 - a bullet to the back of the fucking head.

That, my friends, is Crabbie justice.

(source)

Hulk And Linda: The Divorce Drama

Linda Hogan filed divorce papers against her husband the Hulkster last week, but new reports say that Linda is having second thoughts about terminating the couple's 24-year marriage. A source told TMZ:

She keeps saying to him "Can't we find a way to make this work?" She doesn't want to see the family break up. She really wants to work it out with him. But it is like pushing up against a brick wall. She is heartbroken about it.

Pushing against a bald, roided-up brick wall with a withered peepee - not a great way to spend one's post-menopausal years.

We all know it's about the withered peepee right?

Sources say the recent unpleasantness surrounding son Nick and his unfortunate driving habits is actually at the heart of Hulk and Linda's problems. Sounds like a classic case of the old blame-game, eh? Hulk and Linda each reproaching the other for turning the little fucker into a spoiled social deviant. And then there's Brooke and her obvious gender issues. At some point, someone needs to help Brooke come to grips with being a man.

I hope the family can work it out. I really do. Cause love is such a rare thing. And really, what are Hulk's chances of finding another woman willing to put up with his shrunken penis and emerging steroid boobs? I'd hate to see an American icon like the Hulkster wind up haunting public parks in search of butt sex. That would be...just fucking tragic man.

(source)