Johnny Borrell...And Emma Watson?

Kirsten Dunst's filthy ex Johnny Borrell may have defiled Harry Potter star Emma Watson. The two reportedly met at a fashion party, where Johnny's pheromones apparently overcame darling Emma. Or maybe it was all the booze-breath he blew into her face. Emma's 17, so we know she wasn't drinking. Er...

"Uh, what's that in the bag? Magic drugs from Harry Potter? Do they make you fly?"

Emma and Johnny shared a cab from one party to another. They also apparently went to a third private party later in the evening. However, Johnny ended up leaving that with another woman. No sign of Emma.

What's almost as bad as Emma Watson being icked-on by Johnny Borrell? Emma hanging out with Pixie Geldof. Emma - you're going to Cambridge to study philosophy. Follow that plan. Find yourself some college guys to fuck. Stay away from smelly rock stars who hosed Kirsten Dunst. And please...stay far, far away from Pixie and Peaches Geldof. You will wind up being found in an alley with a needle hanging from your arm...or worse.

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Dunst Kicks Borrell Out

Dentally-challenged "actress" Kirsten Dunst has reportedly chucked her rocker boyfriend Johnny Borrell out of their London flat for being too messy. Dunst, an OCD case, was finally pushed over the edge it's said by Johnny's habit of driving his scooter through the living room. Um, Kirsten dear - you're going out with a rock musician. These people are not known for being particularly tidy or well-behaved. So you're a neatnik - then get yourself a nebbishy accountant who likes keeping his ties nicely organized. Sure, the sex ain't gonna be so hot, but at least you won't have to worry about him leaving skid-marks on the carpet.

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Dunst And Borrell Think They're The S**t

Kirsten Dunst and Johnny Borrell set tongues wagging the other evening at London's Electrowerkz nightclub when, according to the Daily Mail, they showed up unannounced and demanded a section be barricaded off for their personal use. The Electrowerkz people, rather than tell the fugly pair where to get off, cleared out a dressing room which the lovers then used for the rest of the night. Reportedly, the two were seen around 4 am being helped to their car.

First of all, if you're just going to lock yourself into a dressing room anyway, why bother going out at all? Is it just the idea that you can sweep into this club and start ordering people around? Do Kiki and Johnny just get off on the fact that idiot club managers are willing to acquiesce to their every imbecilic request? And why, after all, do these club people give in so easily? Yes, I know - the clubs gain reputation and therefore business by being associated with stars. Still, you'd think there would be limits to how far these kowtowing numbskulls will go in order to accommodate people like these. I mean, maybe I could see it if it were Brad and Angie - but Kiki and Borrell? They're losers. These club folks need to read the tabs more often, then maybe they'd have a better idea which stars to suck up to and which ones to blow off. Seriously, what do they get out of kissing Kiki's ass (besides a bad mouth-rash?). Are people really going to think, "Wow. Kirsten Dunst goes there. She's so cool. We've got to go there too?" It's like Keds using Mischa Barton to sell shoes. No one gives a damn what kind of shoes Mischa wears, and no one gives even close to a damn what club Kirsten Dunst goes to. What a freaking load of dumb-asses.

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Dunst And Borrell Make Me Sad

Kiki drags boyfriend Johnny Borrell to the Costume Institute Gala Benefit. Nice boots Johnny. Been taking fashion tips from Britney have we? And Kiki - what the fuck is that on your head?



I think that thing is intended to deflect radar. And Borrell - you're not happy to be there are you Johnny? You're just doing it for the nookie. The used-up nookie. Oh, and one more thing Johnny - it's called a tie. They're not that expensive. Kiki will even tie it for you. If she's having one of her good motor-skills days, that is.

Borrell Kisses Old Girlfriend; Could Kiki Be Single Soon?

Kirsten Dunst may still have her rocker boyfriend Johnny Borrell for now, but stories about him messing around with his old squeeze keep popping up like pimples nonetheless. The latest one has Borrell's ex-girlfriend, singer Fabiola Gatti, saying that she and Johnny shared a passionate kiss upon meeting recently, and that Johnny assured her he would soon be dumping Kiki and returning to her. Said Gatti about her undying love for Borrell:

We will always be soulmates. At the moment we know it won't work but one day we will get back together.

I don't think you'll have to wait too long, Fabiola. Johnny may be enjoying going out with a movie-star right now, but one of these days the alcohol-haze is going to clear, and he's going to get a good look at Kiki with her snaggleteeth and pasty white body and then - well, it'll be all over then. And Kiki will be single again, and fishing around for another rock star to glom on to. Poor Kiki. I almost feel sorry for her silly ass.

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Drunkst Lives Up To Her Name

Kirsten Dunst went out drinking with her boyfriend Johnny Borrell in London last night, and the results were less-than-attractive. In other words, it was classic Kiki.



Kiki and Johnny hit famed nightspot the Hawley Arms in Camden, after Kiki had attended the London premiere of Spider-Man 3. Johnny, by the way, didn't attend the premiere - because Kiki thought things were "getting too serious." Sure Kiki. And who did you duck into a broom-closet for a quikie with at the premiere? Jesus you are a slut.



"The lights - so bright - tell them to turn them down Jimmy. Joey. What the fuck is your name again?"

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Dunst And Borrell Not Broken Up

An earlier report that Kirsten Dunst and rocker boyfriend Johnny Borrell had broken it off was apparently not true, given that the two have been photographed all over Japan holding hands and acting very coupley. Wow - Kiki and Johnny (how precious) have been going out for over a month! Isn't that some kind of record for Kiki? She keeps this up, she's going to lose her reputation as a slut.

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Dunst and Borrell Already Over

Actress Kirsten Dunst and rocker Johnny Borrell have ended their three-week relationship, reports British tab News of the World. Borrell, lead-singer of the band Razorlight, signaled the demise of the allegedly torrid affair by getting back together with his ex-girlfriend, surfer/pop-chick Fabiola Gatti. That leaves poor Kiki manless again - but not for long, if her past history of sluttiness is any indication. No, I'm guessing it will take Kiki about ten minutes to get over being dumped by Borrell - the world is full of smelly, drunk, chain-smoking rock musicians, all of whom appear to want to have sex with Dunst at least once.

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Kiki Moves In With Rocker Boyfriend

"Lovesick" Kirsten Dunst has moved to London to live with her boyfriend, Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell. Kiki, who was in Austin with Johnny for the big music festival, reportedly became lonely for her man after he and the band left America, so she decided to pull up stakes and join him on the other side of the pond. A friend says Kiki has been following Johnny around like a "lovesick puppy" since meeting him in L.A. earlier this month, and declares their relationship is "the real thing."

Hmm...the real thing. Well, I'll have to see it to believe it. I mean, the way Kirsten goes through boyfriends - Christ, I've worn pairs of underwear for longer than some of her relationships have lasted. Not that Kiki is a slut, she's just...choosy. She's looking for something specific in a man, and if she doesn't find it, no sense messing around. So, maybe she has finally found what she's looking for in this Borrell character. Somebody who will love her in spite of her dental issues, and the fact that she sometimes holds the books upside-down when she's being photographed pretending to read them. And in spite of her propensity to occasionally wash out gutters with her puke (or maybe because of it - he is a rocker, after all).

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Kiki's New Boyfriend May Be A Narcoleptic

Wow, Kiki's got a new boyfriend. He's Johnny Borrell of the band Razorlight. I've never heard of him, but he must be cool cause he's in a band, and his hair looks like he could've just jetted in from 1983. Nice leather jacket Johnny. You and Dunst look like you're headed in to audition for parts in a revival of Grease. Does Kiki want a hickey from Kenickie?

They're discussing something really weighty here. Probably that Carl Sagan book Kiki was reading the other day. Or maybe bongs.

Yeah, they're really into whatever the hell it is they're watching. Jeez, is that guy even awake? Hey, Johnny, yo, perk up dude. You're going out with Kiki Dunst. You should be happy. Maybe not euphoric - well, not until the drugs kick in, anyway.