The Cool Kids

I can't even begin to deal with the coolness of Jon Gosselin and his ho. Smoking heaters, looking all like they just don't give a shit...while hanging with Christian Audigier on his yacht. Oh man, a pair of colossal losers.

Johnny Borrell...And Emma Watson?

Kirsten Dunst's filthy ex Johnny Borrell may have defiled Harry Potter star Emma Watson. The two reportedly met at a fashion party, where Johnny's pheromones apparently overcame darling Emma. Or maybe it was all the booze-breath he blew into her face. Emma's 17, so we know she wasn't drinking. Er...

"Uh, what's that in the bag? Magic drugs from Harry Potter? Do they make you fly?"

Emma and Johnny shared a cab from one party to another. They also apparently went to a third private party later in the evening. However, Johnny ended up leaving that with another woman. No sign of Emma.

What's almost as bad as Emma Watson being icked-on by Johnny Borrell? Emma hanging out with Pixie Geldof. Emma - you're going to Cambridge to study philosophy. Follow that plan. Find yourself some college guys to fuck. Stay away from smelly rock stars who hosed Kirsten Dunst. And please...stay far, far away from Pixie and Peaches Geldof. You will wind up being found in an alley with a needle hanging from your arm...or worse.

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Pixie Geldof - So Very Wasted

Pixie Geldof apparently wants to be the new Kelly Osbourne. We all need dreams I guess.

Pixie Geldof Suspended From School

Naughty little Pixie Geldof has gone and gotten herself suspended from school for drinking and smoking. The 16-year-old daughter of professional deep-carerer-about-things Bob was allegedly caught downing Bacardi Breezers and beer and smelling of smoke - what no coke? This chick's got a long way to go before she can top Lindsay. Still, her offenses were enough to get her suspended from the exclusive educational institution, Alleyn's School, where she is currently enrolled. Her father Bob is said to be angry too - apparently it's a big deal to get into this Alleyn's School joint, and Bob is mad at Pixie for screwing with her education, and for diminishing her little half-sister Tiger Lily's chances of getting into the same place. Oh yeah, Bob - you are so rock and roll man. Sweating your daughter getting suspended from some snotty school. Aren't you supposed to be encouraging her to drink and smoke and behave irresponsibly? You're nothing but an establishment wanker, Geldof. Why don't you go home and plant some geraniums and listen to your Tubular Bells CD you lame fuck.

(source)

Move Over Peaches - Here Comes Pixie

Peaches Geldof isn't the only spawn of rock promoter/humanitarian Bob who knows how to cut loose - she also has a little sister, Pixie, who is already as wild as she is.

15-year-old Pixie showed off her precocious partying skills over the weekend by swilling booze at London nightspot Paper. However, when the managers found out she was underage, they asked her to leave - and that was when Pixie demonstrated another skill she's picked up from big-sis Peaches, the ability to act like a complete spoiled imbecile. Reportedly, upon being informed that she had to vacate the premises, Pixie pitched a fit. So stubborn was the youngest Geldof lass in her resolve to remain at the party, thrown by Rod Stewart's daughter Kimberly, that bouncers had to pick her up and carry her out. After depositing her outside the club, Pixie began screaming that the people responsible for her ejection would never be allowed into one of her father's concerts again. This apparently impressed no one - in fact, the main reaction to Pixie's behavior was amusement:

"Pixie wasn't at all happy and was doing everything she could to stay," says a source. "She was pulling all of the strings but nobody was listening. ... In the end, people were laughing at her. She was behaving ridiculously - it was quite hilarious. ... She was certainly receiving all of the attention she wanted - she was behaving exactly like her sister Peaches."

Don't worry about it Pixie - they may laugh at you now, but deep down, they all envy you. They all wish they could be the children of irrelevant music figures like Bob Geldof too. They wish they'd grown up without any kind of parental supervision and been allowed to party and carry on when they were 15. Just keep doing what you're doing Pixie - you're going to be a star, girl.