McPhee Peddling Wedding Pix

Katherine McPhee, who was recently dumped by her record company, is trying to fill that financial void by brokering a deal with a celeb rag to run pictures from her upcoming wedding to Nick Cokas. Only problem - no one wants the damn things.

Reportedly, McPhee has been asking for up to $60,000 for the pix. A source told Gatecrasher:

That’s a ridiculous amount. She was turned down by People, In Touch and OK! magazines.

Don't worry Katherine - the Crabster will gladly run your pix. Do you take Monopoly money? Not the real stuff - that's too good - but the Looney Tunes Monopoly money that's in "laughs" instead of dollars. I'd give you a good twenty laughs for your wedding pictures. Might as well take it - I don't think you'll get a better offer (from anyone not wearing a raincoat and operating out of some bushes in the darkest, creepiest corner of the park).

(source)

Kat McPhee Dumped

One-time American Idol runner-up Katherine McPhee is no longer employed by RCA, reports US Weekly. The news comes a couple days after the guy who defeated McPhee, Taylor Hicks, was dumped by his own label J Records, and three weeks after controversial American Idol contestant Sanjaya was fired from his job as assistant bird-cage cleaner in the pet section of Wal-Mart.

It's been a rough couple weeks for the American Idols, is what I'm trying to say.

But sweat not the future of Ms. McPhee - as long as there is Hooters, she will always have work. Well, until she gets old and saggy that is.

(source)

McPhee Engaged To Fellow Doofus

Smiling idiot Katherine McPhee is reportedly engaged to an actor named Nick Cokas. A source told People:

Katharine is bubbling over with excitement for her upcoming wedding. She is all smiles when she talks about the planning. It sounds like everything is going very smoothly.

Congrats Katherine. Now you can settle down to a life of leaving the rest of us alone, and pumping out a bunch of grinning-simp kids. Go to it girl.

(source)

Rumer Willis May Have Knocked Up Kat McPhee

I don't want to start any rumors or anything, but I think Rumer Willis may have impregnated Katherine McPhee. I really don't have any proof of this, other than this picture, which I think is damn suspicious. Okay, so I suppose it's possible that the wind is just blowing up the front of Katherine's dress, making her look like she has a huge prego belly. And yes, it does appear that Rumer has breasts, which would put her firmly in the female camp, and therefore unable to actually sperminate Katherine (without the aid of implements). But sod that - these two bitches are definitely getting it on, and Rumer is absolutely the dude in that relationship, and by dude I mean really a dude, as in packing meat. Seriously - look at her, and tell me she doesn't have a penis.

McPhee Hits Vegas

Kat McPhee performs in Las Vegas. People pay money to see a second-place American Idol finisher drink champagne and kick her legs in the air. It's still better than The Blue Man Group.



"It's like bubbles in my nose. Tee-hee..."



Katherine shows everyone what it looks like when she fakes an orgasm. That's the only kind of orgasm she's ever had, by the way...

Katherine McPhee Thinks She's Hot

Who is that slut? Oh, it's Kat McPhee at the Young Hollywood Awards. Um - why is Kat McPhee at the Young Hollywood Awards? What movies has she been in? Besides those amateur pornos we know are around. Oh, Kat - you're so hot with your sunglasses and boobage. Keep trying this hard and you might even convince someone you're not a stupid, boring doofus.

Brains Optional

Kat McPhee and Vanessa Minnillo get cuddly at Self Magazine And VH-1's Hollywood's Tightest Bods Party. Okay kids, here's a question - whose existence is more pointless, McPhee's or Minnillo's? I'm voting for McPhee. First of all, she came in second on American Idol - that's like coming in second at the Oscars; no one gives a shit. Second of all, at least Minnillo is mildly entertaining when she's getting drunk and embarrassing Nick Lachey. McPhee, I've never even seen drunk. I don't think the bitch gets drunk. I think she's a prude who tries to act sexy. Minnillo, on the other hand, is a complete lush. And Crabbie likes lushes. So, McPhee is more worthless.

Hey, McPhee finally won something!

Tyra Honks McPhee's Horns

There hasn't been such a meeting-of-the-minds since Franklin got together with Voltaire in Paris.

Kat McPhee Co-Hosts TRL

Kat McPhee serves as guest co-host on TRL. And you thought Carson Daly was vapid.

Host: "Does the audience have a question for Katherine? You with the blue hair and pierced forehead..."

Audience Member: "Yes, Katherine. I just wanted to ask you, um, like, is your face like that because of some kind of birth defect, or are you really that befuddled all the time?"

Katherine: "That's a really great question. Um... (becomes distracted by the boom-mic) Oh, Simon, you're so big... What were we talking about again?"

Devil With A Red Dress On

Kat McPhee walks the runway at the Heart Truth's Red Dress Collection 2007 fashion show. A red dress on McPhee - how appropriate, given her status as a demon. Ooh, and this one's sparkly too. If McPhee stands in front of a mirror wearing this dress, she's liable to become hypnotized by herself (yes, demons can be stupid too).


Speaking of demons - hey, it's Kelly Ripa. Wow, and she's looking old too. Might be time for her to slaughter a couple more virgins and drink their blood. You know, to restore her youth.

And, of course, a night of devilry would not be complete without an appearance by the Queen of the Underworld herself, Rachael Ray. Jeez, that is one chunky little denizen of the darkness. Guess she's been eating too much of her own food. Either that or the bloat-spell I put on her is starting to kick in. With any luck she will soon be floating over Miami like the Goodyear blimp. Hey look closet-fag football fans, it's Rachael Ray. And...oh my God, she appears to be on fire. It's like the Hindenburg all over again. Oh, the humanity...

Ray And McPhee Create Vortex Of Perfect Evil

The Dark One sends his minions forth to do his bidding. Their black powers merge to create a vortex of evil into which all light and goodness falls. Woe unto those whose souls are trapped by the power of the vortex, for they are doomed to spend eternity in that most terrible of hells - daytime television.

Billboard Music Awards: Carrie Underwood vs. Kat McPhee

What a winner looks like:

What a loser looks like:

Not only does the winner get to clutch many more awards, but they can also wear less-trashy attire, because they don't have to try so hard to get everyone to pay attention.

Katherine McPhee Likes Her Some Microphone

American Idol loser Katherine McPhee shows us how she sings. That Katherine, she's good at singing - I'm told.

Katharine McPhee Likes Shiny Objects

American Idol loser Katharine McPhee pauses for photogs at the 17th Mercedes-Benz Carousel of Hope Ball. What's that dangling from the ceiling Kat? Mmm. Sparkles.