Somebody Please Stop The Birthers

The Birthers, for those who think news begins and ends with Kate Gosselin's activities, are a group of nutwads, led by such senior wackfaces as Lou Dobbs, who believe that Barack Obama is not a native-born American and therefore isn't eligible to be president. These freaks base their entire argument on the fact that Barack has allegedly not produced sufficient evidence of citizenship - an argument Jon Stewart took apart with typical incisiveness and wit last night on The Daily Show.

Actually, my beef with the Birthers has nothing to do with what they believe, the theories of wackjobs constituting nothing more than extra static fizzing and popping in the ether around me. My problem with them is that they go around calling themselves "the Birthers." You know what that name sounds like to me? Something from a bad science fiction movie. There were the Steriles, and then there were the Birthers. And they were led by Octomom.

Clearly, the anti-Barack nutjobs can't fight him on ideas or policies, because that would require the ability to comprehend something more complicated than a made-up conspiracy plot of the type Lou Dobbs enjoys propagating. Sad.

Mexicans v. Dobbs

Hispanics have had it up to here with Lou Dobbs and his inflammatory rhetoric. Latinos are now banding together to form websites calling for CNN to fire Dobbs, the former financial commentator who has re-branded himself as the voice of xenophobic nutbags in America.

"For years, Lou Dobbs has used his platform on CNN to spread myths and misinformation about Latinos and immigrants, even as his network tries to woo Latino viewers," says the site bastadobbs.com. "Dobbs is helping fuel the rising tide of hatred and extremism against Latinos in this country. It’s time we said enough (that’s “basta” in Spanish)."

Now we know why Lou wants that border wall so bad. It's not to save America, it's to save him.

Lou Dobbs 911 call: "Hi this is Lou Dobbs of CNN. There are about fifty Mexican guys outside my house right now using leaf blowers to fill my driveway up with dry grass clippings and random garbage. If you don't come down here and chase them off I'm going to put on my federale badge and cheesy Mariachi moustache and start blasting away like it's a Sergio Leone movie. Barack Obama is a foreigner."