Perry Kills Her Cred

Dear Katy Perry: See honey, here's how it works - you don't get to be edgy, then go on the Today Show and clown with Matt Lauer. Doesn't matter how many chicks you kiss, how many knives you play with, how many tattooed douchebags you lay down with - two seconds in the presence of Lauer and all that is gone. Pick a persona and run with it, 'kay fuckflakes?

My God, He's Trying To Eat Himself

Dressing Al Roker up as a gingerbread man - probably not the wisest thing. That blue button is down a little too far for comfort if you ask me. Ann Curry as the world's phoniest, most insufferable Cinderella? Blah. Matt Lauer as Humpty Dumpty. Now we know why he fell off the wall - Tom Cruise pushed him. And Meredith Viera as Pinocchio. With tits. That get bigger the more she lies. Just keep lying and lying Meredith - you'll never have to worry about loneliness.

Oh God...

Oprah Winfrey went up to Telluride to interview Tom Cruise. She looks really comfortable in that picture, doesn't she? You think they photoshopped it enough?

Oprah's big two-part interview with Tom reportedly includes questions about Scientology, the infamous Matt Lauer confrontation and the couch incident. Katie and Suri were also reportedly present...so we may get to see some video of Suri finally. Won't that be awesome?