Why Does She Keep Bringing It Up?

Anne Hathaway went on Ellen Degeneres to promote Bride Wars or perhaps because she wants to pry Ellen away from Portia de Rossi (who looks to me like she'd happily knife anyone who fucked with her shit). Somehow the conversation turned to Anne's love life which has been rocky to say the least. Ellen, helpful dyke that she is, offered to find Anne a boyfriend (dyke code for "I'll help you find a lady bodybuilder with a ten-inch tongue"), and Anne replied, "At this point I would just like him to be law abiding," an obvious dig at her ex Raffaello Follieri who is currently in prison for being a con-artist. My question for Anne: Why, sweetie, if this guy caused you so much pain and so endangered your reputation, do you keep mentioning him every time you appear on television or do an interview? I would think that would you rather forget he existed and, more importantly, help your audience forget he existed so they could concentrate instead upon your talent, charm, radiance and luscious titties. Or maybe you want to forever be the chick who fucked the criminal douchebag who pretended to represent the Vatican? Trust me Anne - you don't.

She Hasn't Learned

Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend Adam Shulman is apparently as big a social-climbing turd-bucket as her old boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. "Adam is known as an opportunist," a source told Page 6. "When he was at Brown [University], he went after all the heiresses. It's like Anne is addicted to losers." Aw, poor Anne. These guys must ply her with sob stories about their tough childhoods or something. "And then when I was seven my little doggy Patches ran out into the street and got run over by the UPS man." And Anne's blubbering and handing over credit cards. Stupid bitch.

Breaking News: Jail Sucks

Raffaello Follieri is not enjoying life in a federal lockup. The con-artist and former boyfriend of Anne Hathaway (before she ratted him out to the cops and dumped him) has complained to his lawyer that his new digs at Brooklyn's Metropolitan Detention Center stink intolerably, are infested with rats and have shit-smeared showers and bad food. Uh...that's why it's called jail hon. Did you think it was some ritzy hotel in Monaco you were staying at using money you'd stolen from the Catholics? "The room service is slower than hell in this place. And what's with this view?" Follieri is reportedly staying in a dorm he shares with 120 other unwashed men. Sounds like a bit of heaven to me. Stop bitching you little bitch.

Bye Bye Bitch

Raffaello Follieri has been sentenced to 54 months in prison for being a scumbag con artist piece of shit. In court, the slimebag's lawyer claimed Raffaello became "intoxicated" by his and Anne Hathaway's jet-setting lifestyle and perpetrated his various scams so he could keep the good times rolling. Wow - so basically he blamed her. If she hadn't been such a high-class piece of tail they would've been happy eating burgers and going to movies. But she made him steal so they could fly around the world hob-nobbing with the rich and beautiful. What a fucking sleaze.

Blimp

That's just the most unflattering dress of all-time right? Hathaway doesn't actually have the hips of a lesbian gym teacher. Maybe she's just trying to send Raffaello Follieri a reassuring message. "See? Being in jail's not so bad." Sweet of her.

Be Careful Bro

The dude with the wedding ring is supposedly Anne Hathaway's new mystery man. I don't know anything about it except that I hope for his sake it's just a rumor. That bitch is soulless and were I a heterosexual male I wouldn't want anything to do with her beyond a one-nighter. Did you see what she did to Follieri on Saturday Night Live? Okay, so it's a woman's right to trash her ex after her ex turns out to be a con-artist snake who nearly ruined her reputation. But damn. To do it on live television? Chick has a lump of coal for a heart.

Letterman vs. Hathaway

David Letterman allegedly "grills" Anne Hathaway about her ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri in this video. You watch it (the "grilling" starts around 2:35) and tell me if you think he was really sticking it to her. She seems a tad uncomfortable with the subject but I hardly think she's "squirming" as some have suggested.

Just Shut it All Out

Anne Hathaway doesn't want to deal with any questions about her life. She doesn't want lesbian questions and she really doesn't want questions about her ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri and the way she ratted him out to the Feds. I wonder what she's listening to on those. Maybe she's learning to speak Chinese so she can move there and just disappear into some Godforsaken corner.

Follieri Angry Over Hathaway Split Reports

Corrupt businessman Raffaello Follieri is angered at reports that his split with girlfriend Anne Hathaway was brought about over his shady dealings being made public.

A flack stood up for Follieri's good name by whipping out the ever-popular charity work card.

"It is worth noting, as you continue to attempt to scandalize a respected businessman and philanthropist, that the Follieri Foundation has vaccinated hundreds of children in Nicaragua and Honduras to date, in addition to recently rebuilding an orphanage in Brazil," the rep raged at Page 6.

Surest sign that you're a douchebag: Reminding everyone, at the first sign of trouble, of all the little children you helped.

I thought people did charity work because they wanted to make the world a better place, not because they expected it to be counted in their favor when the time came to tally things up. Besides, who knows what else the charity could be a front for. People establish those foundations all the time, make it look good on the surface, then secretly funnel money into their own pockets.

Plus, Follieri just looks like an asshole. And that's enough for me.

Anne Hathaway Dumps Raffaello Follieri

Get Smart star Anne Hathaway has dumped boyfriend Raffaello Follieri, who has had his good name sullied by a series of scandals including a check-bouncing and an investigation of his charitable foundation.

"It's heartbreaking for her to dump him, and she's devastated that it's come to this, but she really didn't have a choice," a source revealed. "His scandals were hurting her reputation."

Hathaway was also allegedly ticked off by Follieri's late-night carousing sessions with models. They were seen to argue frequently during Follieri's visits to Anne on the set of her new movie Bride Wars. Clearly, this has all had a bad effect on Anne, who looked thin and sickly alongside Steve Carrell at the premiere of Get Smart (pictured above).

On the bright side...Jodie Foster's single too Anne!