More Ryan O'Neal Ickiness

Ryan O'Neal aka The Dirtiest Dog on Earth (see this for further proof) admits to hitting on his own daughter Tatum at Farrah Fawcett's funeral, but says it was only because he didn't recognize her.

"I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me," Ryan told Vanity Fair. "I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me--Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick."

Well, in Ryan's defense, he is probably usually wasted when he sees Tatum - can't really blame him for that - plus, have you seen all the work Tatum's had done? Her own plastic surgeon probably doesn't recognize her.

Tatum, for her part, has laughed the whole thing off.

"That's our relationship in a nutshell," the child-star turned drug-monkey said. "You make of it what you will.

It had been a few years since we'd seen each other, and he was always a ladies' man, a bon vivant."

She's been making excuses for him since she was about five. Why stop now?

Tatum O'Neal Had Some Bad Influences

We all learn about sex in different ways...sometimes sick ways that scar us for life.

The way Tatum O'Neal learned about sex may take the cake though. Allegedly, Melanie Griffith, who was fucking Tatum's dad Ryan at the time (despite Melaine herself being only 17), took the 12-year-old Tatum under her wing...and to an orgy.

We know not whether 12-year-old Tatum participated in any of the orgiastic fun, but we know Melanie did, and that Tatum had to sit there and watch. And everyone at the orgy was allegedly smoking opium.

Parenting tip #1: Keep your kids away from Melanie Griffith.

And no...this still doesn't get Tatum off the hook for her ridiculous assertion that the death of the family dog depressed her so much she needed to buy crack. Although, given the people Tatum was surrounded by in her youth, it's easy to see why she would be so attached to animals.

(Thanks Maggie C.)

Tatum O'Neal Busted for Crack

Darling Tatum O'Neal of Paper Moon fame was busted in New York last night for scoring crack and cocaine near her Lower East Side apartment.
At last report she was sitting in the slammer waiting to be arraigned.

O'Neal's drug past includes a heroin addiction that caused her to lose custody of her kids with John McEnroe back in the late '90s. You know your life is screwed up when the court deems John McEnroe a more stable parent than you.