More Ryan O'Neal Ickiness

Ryan O'Neal aka The Dirtiest Dog on Earth (see this for further proof) admits to hitting on his own daughter Tatum at Farrah Fawcett's funeral, but says it was only because he didn't recognize her.

"I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me," Ryan told Vanity Fair. "I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me--Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick."

Well, in Ryan's defense, he is probably usually wasted when he sees Tatum - can't really blame him for that - plus, have you seen all the work Tatum's had done? Her own plastic surgeon probably doesn't recognize her.

Tatum, for her part, has laughed the whole thing off.

"That's our relationship in a nutshell," the child-star turned drug-monkey said. "You make of it what you will.

It had been a few years since we'd seen each other, and he was always a ladies' man, a bon vivant."

She's been making excuses for him since she was about five. Why stop now?

A Match Made In Fucknuts Heaven

Reports - dismissed by some party poopers as mere gossip - say Charles Manson has reached out to Phil Spector and wants to hang with him in prison.

Manson, who at one time was a songwriter (good enough to land a composition on a Beach Boys record), is said to admire Spector, a man famed as a music producer before poor life choices took him down that other road.

"The story can be traced to a mid-July phone call from inmate Spector to his 29-year-old wife Rachelle," says ABC.com, "who reported that he told her he had received a handwritten note saying, 'Come over to my house,' and signed, 'Charles Manson.'"

Unfortunately, since Manson and Spector aren't even in the same prison, the story is most likely a load of bullshit.

It's obvious what the California Department of Corrections has to do - transfer Spector into Manson's prison. Then give them some recording equipment and let them go to town. The world needs to hear what their two minds would concoct.

Sarah And Todd Palin To Divorce

A list of things Sarah Palin sucks at:

Politics
Speaking English
Parenting
Making Intelligent People Take Her Seriously
Not Getting Owned By Katie Couric
Marriage

She's approaching the whole marriage issue the same way she approached all the shit being thrown at her in the political arena: by running away like the coward she is.

They're not going to stay together for the chiiiiiiiiiildren?

Fuck the bitch. You're better off Todd.

Yeah, It's A Real Car

Britney Spears is once again on the highway. Not wandering in a drunken stupor either but actually driving. Hilarity awaits.

I guess you wouldn't think it was funny if you were the pedestrian wedged under her front tires though. "Where'd that man go who was just layin' on the windshield? He was funny. He looked like Larry King."

It was Larry King crazy beeeeeeeeeetch.

Weekend At Giorgio's

Oh my God, Giorgio Armani. I so want to respect you but...fucking hell man. Is that a chest or the mess left over after someone forgot to snuff some candles? This is the first time in my life I've ever wanted to get down on my knees and thank Jesus for skimpy bathing suits. Eh, what am I saying? I thank Jesus for those every day. This is slightly different though.

All Kinds Of Wrong

Beyonce as...Kabuki Michael Jackson? That outfit is not flattering to the hips.

How Screwed Are We?

Journalist discusses the creepy C Street gang. Basically, they want to take over everything - for Jesus.