Tom Cruise is in full-on "I'm just a normal guy; please don't think I'm a religious freak" mode. Unfortunately, with Tom, everything is overdone.
This segment with Oprah was supposed to be all warm and fuzzy...come into our home; we are just like everyone else. Except, normal people don't have little spaces where all their stuff is kept, with fucking nametags...and there's one for Oprah plus her own pair of slippers with fucking nametags!
How staged and phony...Tom's little hug for Katie at the end. "We love each other see? We really do!" Contrived. Creepy. And made even worse by Katie's final "I love you," right before she goes out the door. Again, with Tom Cruise, there's always that one fatal miscalculation, that moment where it goes a tiny bit too far and you can't believe in it (Oprah almost saves it by jokingly saying "I love you" to Katie).
And then we get to the really disturbing part...Suri's "office" under the stairs. What, does she spend hours in there playing Anne Frank? "I sure hope the Nazis don't get me Elmo. I'm just a poor little Jew girl..."
Then the kitchen. Oprah refuses the cupcakes. "Kate made sure we had cupcakes," Tom said. No Tom...you made sure. And I'm certain those cupcakes didn't remain on the table long either. You probably scarfed them all down the second the cameras were gone. And you didn't leave any for Katie...well, maybe a crumb. That's all she's allowed on her Posh starvation diet.
On to the dining room. The Annie Leibovitz picture. Nothing dirty in it though...unlike that oh-so-naughty Miley Cyrus pic which has completely corrupted the soul of America.
Speaking of Miley...I wonder if Tom has begun working on her yet. He's going to need to trade Katie in soon.
Next we see Bella's little painting. So cute. Wonder what other things she's painted. Tom probably has all that stuff locked up. I'm sure a psychiatrist would like to have a look at those particular artworks, but of course, psychiatrists are evil.
Then Tom's little collection of bound scripts. I love how Oprah asks him, "Is this where this goes?" when she's putting the one away. She doesn't want to send Tom into some kind of rage by throwing off the arrangement of his little universe. "God damn it Oprah, everybody knows Top Gun goes before Far & Away!"
Finally, Tom remembers shooting Risky Business. He got down and waxed the floor himself, and worked out the whole sliding bit at the start of the song. Sure Tom. And you also invented the Internet and Hillary lied when he said he was the first man up Everest because you were in fact the first man up Everest.
Tom Cruise...the fakest bastard on earth.
