Tom Cruise is convinced he was hilarious as corpulent studio boss Les Grossman in the lukewarm Tropic Thunder, and is now casting about for more comedic roles. "Well, I'm always looking for something new," said Tom, "and Ben's [Stiller] movie is hilarious. He and I are old friends, and he is a really good director, so originally I said I'd do it just for friendship. But it turned out great. I actually love comedy, and I did it in Risky Business, so I'll do more if it presents itself."
Yeah, Risky Business - that was 25 years ago, and then Tropic Thunder. And that's your comic resume Tom. And you know why that's the extent of your career as a funny man? It's because you're not funny. Everyone knows you take yourself and everything in your life with deadly seriousness, and people like that are simply not spiritually capable of conveying the lightness and good humor necessary to make others laugh. Maybe you could pull it off if you had brilliant technique or an edge or a cutting way of looking at the world but you don't have any of those things either. Please Tom - stick to terrible spy movies and shit. Don't pollute the world with anymore of your lame attempts at funny schtick.
