Awkwardness

MSNBC news-reading drone Contessa Brewer misidentifies Jesse Jackson as Al Sharpton. Jesse handles it well, but is clearly steamed. Once again, we see the hazards of choosing cable news anchors on the basis of looks rather than competence or basic intelligence.

Then again, maybe you can't blame Contessa. I also have trouble telling one bloodsucking media-whore from another.

Of Course

Jesse Jackson has figured out a way to insinuate himself into the Michael Jackson death story. The former civil rights leader and latter-day media-clown has appointed himself the family's official spokesperson, and has conveyed their wish to have a second autopsy performed on Michael to possibly clear up some lingering questions about how he died.

Suspicion continues to swirl around Michael's personal doctor Conrad Murray, who administered the Demerol that apparently caused the singer's fatal heart attack. "The routine inquiry is now an investigation," Jesse said. "They [the Jacksons] didn't know the doctor. ... He should have met with the family, given them comfort on the last hours of their son."

Too bad Michael didn't bleed all over Jesse - then he could've gone around wearing the blood-stained shirt for days.

It's nice to see Jesse sticking up for the little guy again. He's such a crusader for the downtrodden and oppressed.

Nuts

Barack Obama will be going to the White House, nuts intact. Jesse Jackson got very emotional last night at the victory rally as we see. I bet he still has that shirt with Martin Luther King's blood on it. He whips it out at parties, and sometimes puts it on and dances around in it. Barack should give Jesse a cabinet position - Secretary of Going the Fuck Away Now and Leaving Us All Alone.

Links Links Links

Survivorman: It's not just a great show, it also saves lives.

Fried Coke. Yes, our civilization has officially died.

The Dirty Disher's son is a guitar-pickin' fool (I mean that in a nice way Dishy; don't get all pissy with me like you do).

Perez Hilton has a movie coming out. It also stars Amanda Lepore and RuPaul. Copy Fried Coke observation, paste, commit suicide.

The 15 Best Hotel Room Porn Movie Titles. Who needs porn when you have Survivorman?

UC-Davis is threatening to use a collection agency to get money it's owed by Hillary Clinton's campaign. When Hillary answers the phone at 3 in the morning, it's a prissy-sounding guy telling her to cough up the dough or else.

Hamas will meet with Jimmy Carter. Jesse Jackson must be sooooo jealous.