Marky Got Married

Marky Mark got married over the weekend, to the woman he already has like ten kids with. So I guess this means the guy on Entourage will be getting married soon too? Oh, right: heads-up to the ten people who didn't already know - Entourage is based on Marky Mark's life. Sort of.

Eh, now he's old and crinkly and married and takes himself seriously. And you never see him in his underwear. So over it.

Might Want To Dial Down The Dork There

Dev Patel was so cute in Slumdog Millionaire, the Biggest Feel Good About Human Misery Hit of last year. So what happened to him? Did he watch one too many of those Harold and Kumar movies? Sorry hon, but being latched on to the hot girl everyone knows you're not actually fucking (give me a minute and I might even remember her name) isn't enough. She looks thrilled to be there too. Awkward.

Don't They Know That Stuff Is Poison?

Brad and Angie are just normal people like you. They drive around with their kids, and when they're hungry, they hit the McDonald's drive-thru. And have to repeat their order at least fifteen times to the idiot on the other side of the intercom who still doesn't get it right. Shit like that is why people snap and reach for their automatic weapons.

You Can Shine Shit(ney)

I'm pretty sure Britney was a brunette last time I saw her, so that means she changed her hair color again. No pink wig though. Dang, she's almost looking fine here. She could be one of those ladies on The Hills. Not one of the really hot ones, one of the other ones.

Still Trying

Aw, she's holding the ice cream cone and he's eating it. Ain't it cute? But why does she look pissed? And why do I suspect there's someone pointing a gun at him from just out of the frame? "Just eat the fucking ice cream. And this time look like you love me."

If They Build It, It Will Almost Fall On You

Kevin Costner and his new country band (eye-roll) were only minutes from going on-stage at some Canadian music festival when said stage was hit by a mighty wind and collapsed on top of another act, killing one person and injuring 60, including two members of Costner's band.

Kevin was among those who was not hurt. Witnesses say the former actor jumped into the fray and began helping pull people from the wreckage. Sure, cause the ghost-voice told him to. The same one that told him to grow a soul-patch and become a country singer. The same one that told him to do Waterworld and Message in a Bottle. Sometimes the ghost-voice gets it right, other times, not so much.

That's Not What Deep Purple Had In Mind, Jack

Jack Nicholson fears nothing. Ultra-violet radiation? Bring it on. Cigarette smoke? Take that lungs. Sharks? They won't dare fuck with me, I'm Jack Nicholson. I'll kick them right in their shark-balls, if sharks have balls, and if not I'll give them some balls just so I can kick them.

He's probably also getting an underwater hand-job from a 20-year-old bikini model in this picture.