35 Years Ago Today...

August 9, 1974 - Richard Nixon leaves the White House in disgrace. You old farts can reminisce about the joy of toking up and watching him fly away. You all flipped off the TV screen, didn't you?

Oh yeah: You suck, Dick.

Get The Bitch A Razor

This is what happens to Salma Hayek when she doesn't shave for a few days. You think this is bad, you should see what's down there. She went in for a wax and the women ran out screaming, "Sasquatch! Don't get me!" As long as the titties aren't hairy, right guys?

Hillary Clinton Gets Drunk, Dances Like She Just Don't Care

Couple pops of wine and Hillary Clinton just goes crazy. And you should see her after she's snorted a few lines. Superfreak.

Twitter Angst

Conan O'Brien makes light of the Twitter outage. Apparently the whole thing was caused because some guy pissed off the Russians with his blogging about the unpleasantness with Georgia. I didn't know Putin was a hacker.

Oh, by the way, you can follow Crabbie on Twitter. It's actually quite fascinating. If you're slightly brain-damaged.

She Looks Different

Cate Blanchett has done something to her face. Maybe just Botox. Too bad a person can't get a CGI job done on them in real life, like they did on her in Benjamin Buttmunch, to make her look 18. Botox is the real world's CGI I guess.

No Movie With The Word "Imaginarium" In The Title Can Possibly Be Good

Terry Gilliam has done another one of those funhouse movies he's so noted for. This is the one where Heath Ledger died partway through filming - bummer, that - and Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law came in to finish up for him (a Weekend at Bernie's deal being out of the question). People will see this because it's Ledger's last movie I guess...though hasn't the fascination with Ledger kind of worn off? Doesn't seem like people care that much anymore.

Democracy At Work

The propaganda is working on the rubes. They actually think Socialism is sweeping the nation, and that any day now Barack is going to send someone over to take their weapons, their gas-guzzling pick-ups and their porn, and hit them with a ray gun that turns them into fruity Prius-owners who would rather go antiquing than watch football. That's why they're so mad. Of course, if they had a clue, they'd realize that Barry and those nasty Dems in the Congress don't really have the guts to remake America. Cash for Clunkers ain't gonna turn the USA into Sweden.