I Think She Might Be Pregnant

Either Heidi Klum is pregnant or she is turning into a giant Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle head. Seal edged out Tina Fey for best facial scarring of the evening. At least Seal doesn't have an attitude about it, you know?

McCain On SNL

Mummy-arms went on Saturday Night Live to show everyone he's really not a bitter, scary old man after all. The QVC bit with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin is decent. Dropping Cindy McCain in was a nice touch but don't watch it before you go to sleep or you will have nightmares of a blank-eyed witch trying to strangle you.



McCain on Weekend Update. Pretty weak. Sorry John but you lost us. We used to sort of like you but now we think you're evil. Do us a favor and go away forever. (I was going to suggest you take up golf but you have to be able to move your arms for that. Sorry.)

Fey As Palin, Ferrell As Bush

Could've been funnier. They're going softer on Palin since she was on their show, no?

They Don't Get To Play The Sexism Card Anymore...

What was the most revealing part of Sarah Palin's appearance on Saturday Night Live? I think it came during the bit with Alec Baldwin at the beginning. Baldwin thinks she's Tina Fey, then Lorne Michaels tells him no, she's the real Sarah Palin, and Baldwin says some crap about her being "way hotter" in person. It was the "way hotter" line that got me. Is that not a sexist line? Yes, I realize it's a joke, but still...does Palin not stand there and willingly cooperate in being at least mildly objectified? You know she had full veto power over all the material, which means she had to approve of that particular bit. And why would this woman, who's trying to make people take her seriously, willingly consent to such a frivolous, marginally degrading bit? She just enjoys being flattered, is my guess. Especially by famous people like Alec Baldwin. So Palin overlooked the sexism and lapped up the compliment. Well you know what? All along Palin's people have been defending her by crying sexism. Someone calls her stupid: it's sexism. Someone calls her unqualified: it's sexism. Someone dares suggest that she shouldn't be taken seriously: it's sexism. But Palin, by willingly submitting to a sexist gag in the name of flattery and fame-whoreism, has removed that card from her deck forever. The next time someone criticizes her and her people cry sexism, someone has to cry back, "You're way hotter in person!"

Sorry Sarah - if you want to be taken seriously, then don't go on television and let Alec Baldwin drool on you. Even if he's faking. Even if you're only supposed to be joking. It makes you look cheap and easy. You may have impressed your half-witted acolytes but I see through you. You are an empty dress who wants to schmooze with the beautiful and famous. That wasn't just a guest appearance on a comedy show for you - it was you taking what you think is your rightful place among the stars. Unfortunately, when Obama wins, it will be back to Alaska for you. So sorry, caribou bitch.

Palin on SNL

So Sarah Palin gets to go on SNL and yuk it up with Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey and it's all cool, right? She gets to make a joke out of the fact that she refuses to answer any meaningful questions and so what cause she's a terrific sport and "way hotter in person?" Fuck Alec Baldwin. Seriously. If he ever opens his mouth about politics again he deserves to get kicked right in his teeth. Either Palin is the personification of evil or she isn't. The Weekend Update shit with her and the rapping is just pathetic. SNL needs to go away - forever.

Fame Whore

Sarah Palin will appear this week on Saturday Night Live it has been confirmed. She's a fame-whore. A fame-whore who thinks humans walked with dinosaurs and Jesus will be coming back next Wednesday. Now she's going to go on SNL, probably in a skit with Tina Fey, and show everyone what a good sport she is. Cause that's what matters - the willingness to outwardly poke fun at oneself while secretly wanting to take one's mockers between one's butt cheeks and crush their skulls. This woman is evil and heartless and would kill everyone she disagreed with if given the chance.

Over-Exposed

Tina Fey's Palin impression is pretty funny but I fear Ms. Fey is on her way to being over-exposed. The hipster geek thing is a decent bit but I don't know how much farther she can go on it. And McCain's going to lose so Palin won't be any good beyond November. Maybe she could star in a female remake of Scarface.

Palin Skewered

Fey and Poehler continue their evisceration of Palin. Some of that dialogue is verbatim from Palin's actual interview with Katie Couric. You truly can't make up how dumb Palin is.

He Knows Where He Can Ram It

30 Rock must've won a bunch of Emmys or something. I'd be careful giving one of those statues to Baldwin - those wings, or whatever the fuck they're supposed to be, look pretty sharp. "You rude little pig. Eat this." Oh, sorry - I probably shouldn't joke about that. It's been revealed that Alec had suicidal thoughts in the wake of his outing as a colossal jerk who verbally abuses his child. Be a shame if Alec read some of this shit and got depressed and chugged a bunch of drain opener...

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Bitterness

The bitterness expressed by "Hillary Clinton" in this SNL bit from last night mirrors the feelings of the entire Democratic party over the way Sarah Palin has swooped in and seemingly hijacked the whole campaign. It was all going so wonderfully for Juggy until runner-up Miss Alaska came along and made everything sooooo complicated. My advice to the Democrats? Have Joe Biden come down with a mysterious ailment right before the first debate with Moose Mom and slide in Hillary as a last-second replacement. Hillary can then proceed to tear Palin fifteen new assholes and no one can accuse her of sexist bullying.

Yes, Tina Fey has the Palin voice down and Amy Poehler does a decent job mocking Hillary's underlying anger but I'm sorry - I can't see these two now without thinking of the atrocious and unfunny Baby Mama. How I managed to sit through that whole thing when every instinct in my body was telling me to jump out the nearest window is beyond me.

Fat Fiend

I'm still waiting for Alec Baldwin to announce that he'll move to France if John McCain becomes president. Of course it has nothing really to do with ideology or principle - it's all about winning. These bastards get mad because their guy loses which makes them feel like losers so they get all bitter and whiny and act like someone took their Mercedes away. I'm actually rooting for Obama to lose now just so I can watch the aftermath. All these Hollywood phonies screaming and yelling and saying the fix was in. Oh man, I'm gonna make a whole big honking bowl of popcorn and just park myself in front of CNN.

Tina Fey Rips Paula Abdul

Tina Fey won't be getting a Christmas card from Paula Abdul's assistants this year, not after what she said to Playboy magazine about Abdul's appearance on SNL when Fey was a cast-member.

Fey told an interviewer that Abdul was a "disaster" on the show. When asked exactly how, Fey said:

In the ways she generally appears to be. It was an American Idol sketch, and she wanted to change parts. So Amy Poehler had to play her.

The bad vibes persisted long after the taping. Fey says:

A year later I saw her on a flight. We both looked at each other like, "Do I know that girl?" And then we both had the same moment of recognition, and she was like "uuuggh." I saw it register on her face that she had had a terrible time with us.

Fey concludes:

I was pregnant at the time and probably a little moody, but I remember thinking, "She's a disaster! I gotta prop this lady up and get her on TV."

What do you think the producers of American Idol say to themselves every day, Tina?

(source)