Ryan O'Neal Update

More details are coming out about Saturday's altercation between has-been actor Ryan O'Neal and his druggie son Griffin, which ended in a shot being fired, and O'Neal being booked for assault with a deadly weapon. The instigator of the whole affair, according to Ryan, was Griffin. In a statement released by his rep, Ryan says that Griffin swung wildly at him with a fireplace poker, grazing him several times, and finally striking his own pregnant girlfriend in the head. Ryan says he then got scared, and ran to his room and grabbed his heater. Griffin, undeterred by the injury to his female, chased Ryan, but was finally put off when Ryan fired a warning shot into the banister. The young woman, one Joanne Berry, received only minor injuries from the wayward poker-strike, and was taken to UCLA medical center. There has thus far been no comment from Berry or Griffin O'Neal, nor any clarification (that I can find) as to what caused the row in the first place (beyond the general fact that Ryan and Griffin are both a pair of colossal assholes). Ryan O'Neal himself was released after posting $50,000 bail, and has returned to his job on the set of the FOX series Bones.

Thanksgiving dinner is going to be damn awkward at the O'Neal house this year, I can tell you that.

Sandra Bullock Hates Life

Sandra Bullock came out of her hole to put in an appearance at the Santa Barbara Film Festival. Here's another one of those chicks everyone thinks is so charming and effervescent, when clearly this personality is nothing more than a brittle facade concealing a deep inner-turmoil. Trust me on this one - Sandra Bullock's soul is a bubbling cauldron of rage and frustration. Given half a chance, this bitch would whip out a chainsaw and go Leatherface on a whole cafeteria. Just look into her eyes. But don't look too deep, because you'll surely be sucked down into the same black pit of despair.

Ryan O'Neal Arrested

TMZ reports that actor Ryan O'Neal has been arrested following some manner of altercation with his son Griffin. The incident, which took place early this morning in Malibu, involved the discharge of a firearm, and there are reports that a female friend of Griffin's was "inadvertently" injured and transported to a hospital. Ryan O'Neal was taken to Lost Hills Sheriff's station and booked on charges of assault with a deadly weapon and negligent discharge of a firearm. He was later released after posting $50,000 bail.

Griffin O'Neal, the brother of Tatum, was born in 1964 to Ryan and the late actress Joanna Cook Moore. He has struggled with substance abuse for much of his life, and in 1986 was charged with manslaughter over the drug-related boating death of Francis Ford Coppola's son Gian-Carlo. So, chances are Ryan had a pretty good reason to shoot at him.

Seagal Has The Blues

Former action star Steven Seagal jams with his blues band Thunderbox. Why does Seagal look like a Venus fly-trap vomited? And what's with his head? This guy is so close to having a heart attack. And I thought he was all into martial arts too. Doesn't that stuff keep you in shape? I mean, when's the last time you saw a fat, sweaty ninja? I've never seen one. Jesus. Blind Lemon Jefferson would turn over in his grave if he saw this.

Drew Barrymore is Still Around

Drew Barrymore attempts a glamorous pose at the premiere of We Are Marshall. This bitch was the Hollywood wild-child long before Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie. And then she decided to clean herself up (more-or-less). Too bad. It would've been funny to watch her life unfold like a slow-motion train-wreck.

God damn self-control.

Janice Dickinson Breaks Windshield With Head, Isn't Hurt

Pathetic exhibitionist Janice Dickinson, her assistant, make-up artist and stylist were the victims of a hit-and-run on the 405 Freeway in California late Tuesday night, TMZ is reporting. According to authorities, Dickinson, who was wearing a seat-belt (so at least she has that much sense), was thrown forward during the incident and struck her head on the windshield, suffering a concussion. All occupants of the vehicle were taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, but were given the all-clear by doctors and released, including Dickinson who is reported to be fine. The identity of the hit-and-run driver is not known.

I don't need to bother making a joke about Dickinson cracking a windshield with her skull and barely feeling it, do I? Or some other lame gag about how the driver of the other vehicle must've been overcome by the crotch-fumes issuing from Dickinson's car and momentarily lost consciousness? Or concoct some rant about how Janice Dickinson is a drug-addled has-been who spreads her legs at the drop of a hat? No. I didn't think so.

Renee Zellweger at the Miss Potter Premiere in New York

"Don't you fuckin' look at me. I said, don't you fuckin' look at me..."

By the way, what the hell is Miss Potter?

Julia Roberts: A Crazy Old Bag-Lady?

Former Hollywood superstar Julia Roberts attends the L.A. premiere of Charlotte's Web. Julia's looking rough these days. And it doesn't help that she appears to have dug her jacket out of a dumpster:


The previous owner would appear to have been stabbed. Maybe by Julia. I personally wouldn't put anything past her. I mean, look at this broad:

I have stared into the badly-lit face of madness.

Jennifer Aniston Admits She's a Has-Been

Jennifer Aniston would appear to have come to the same conclusion most of us arrived at a long time ago - that her career is pretty much finished.

How else would you explain the ex-Friends actress's interest in appearing on the show Dancing With the Stars, a program that mostly features the washed-up (Emmit Smith), the irrelevant (Mario Lopez) and the generally disdained (Tucker Carlson)?

Maybe Jennifer's only kidding - or maybe she thinks she's kidding on the surface, but there's something deep down inside her that can't help acknowledging that her train left the station a long time ago and ain't coming back.

Let's face it - a gig like Friends ain't coming around again any time soon. And that whole being on Brad Pitt's arm thing - that was pretty sweet too. Way better than a big-nosed fug like Aniston ever deserved. But she blew that one by not being nearly as hot as Angelina Jolie. Poor Jen - old, ugly and without talent. But, maybe, willing to make a fool of herself on national television (and that's a start).